Thursday, March 5, 2015

My Life as an Effing Swan

The Glitter Globe, Karfelt, Keating, Effing Swan
S. R. Karfelt/The GlitterGlobe

The power of words does not surprise me; after all I wield them for a living. What does surprise me is how a damaging comment can cut and alter another’s psyche. It’s astonishing how we can accept someone else’s words and not only open our hearts to them, but allow those words to grow inside us and to shape our lives.
  • You’re fat.
  • You’re skinny.
  • You’re ugly.
  • You’re the funny one.
  • You’re the weird one.

We swallow words and we make them real. Some part of us knows the truth and fights against lies. We’ll struggle to become what we yearn to be deep inside. But we won’t just claim the life we want as we are now because we believe the lies. We’re not good-looking enough. We’re not smart enough. We’re not rich enough. Yet.

Once we do whatever it takes to become good-looking enough, smart enough, or wealthy enough then we can have our dream life because then we'll deserve it.


Yes. I’m calling bullshit on that.

You don’t have to change a damn thing to embrace your life and morph an Ugly Ducking attitude into an Effing Swan. How do I know this? Because I did it. I took my fat-legged, flat-bottomed, sub-par-educated-self and embraced a rock-star life.

  • I’ve enjoyed movie-star worthy kissing.
  • And rode off into the sunset.
  • Lived Happily Ever After.
  • Danced like no one was watching when they were.
  • Made huge mistakes and lived.
  • Failed and Succeeded.
  • Taken Risks.
  • Eaten cake without apology.
  • And Once Upon a Timed my Everyday.

Recently I read the post of fellow writer, Kelsey Keating, someone whose work I’ve enjoyed, and someone who is very involved in the writing world. She’s someone I’ve seen help other writers succeed, but I’ve watched her hesitate to take risks that would give her work wings. When I finally learned what’s been holding her back I also got to see her get past it, embrace her life and admit publicly that she now knows she’s an Effing Swan. Bam, Kelsey!

It made me want to shout the one thing I know to be true.

There is nothing you have to become or do before you can embrace your life and live it.

Because you too are an Effing Swan.

The Glitter Globe, S. R. Karfelt, The Grand Canyon
Do you believe me? 

Are you trapped in an Ugly Ducking place or can you embrace your Effing Swan? 

If you truly believe in your inner Swandom, will you help us reach other swans? Use the hashtag #EffingSwan on public media and help us spread the word. 

Now show me your Effing Swan, I showed you mine. Tell me a story about how you've embraced your Effing Swan? 



    So glad you've joined the movement. We can't do it alone. Changing minds happens one at a time, but it needs to happen.

    We are worthy. We are awesome. We aren't ugly ducklings. We are effing swans!

  2. That's what I was gonna say! Effing Swans UNITE. lol

    It's time to write our own happily ever after!

  3. Absolutely, Kelsey & LaDonna - And I can't think of when I've had more fun with a movement than the #EffingSwan one. I expect to see your pictures on twitter with that hashtag!

  4. I'm gonna have to come up with my own Effing Swan post. Just as soon as the effing template downloads so I can put it on the effing website.
    I've been at this a while, can you tell? :P

  5. LOL, Ashley! I feel your website pain! Please be sure to pin your post where I can see it? Feel free to drop the link in the comments here, stick it on my wall/page on Facebook/Twitter/Google+/Pinterest/or wherever you may roam.
    With the #EffingSwan hashtag too!
    Can't wait to read it!

  6. #effingswan whose dang-diddly-delireous to be out of the freakin' duck pond. Seriously. I wish I'd done it before age 40, but oh well. I'll make up for it in my next 40 years. FREEEEEDOM! No longer trying to "be better/prettier/smarter/etc" than anyone but the ME I was yesterday. LIBERATION. Bam. PS- I think you have a lovely backside Ms. Karfelt. And KRK? Pfft- that girl was BORN an effing swan. ;)

    LaDonna- do you think we could splash around town yelling "I'm AN EFFING SWAN" without getting arrested? Call me. I'm game for some research. Bwahahaa

  7. Will do! Just as soon as I get the dang theme working...

  8. This got me really excited, and I had to blog a part of my #EffingSwan story. Thank you for inspiring me. My identity has not and never can be found in a man!

  9. Hey DMKilgore! It's never too late, and if you do get arrested it would be excellent blog material.

    Just a thought.

  10. Hi Anonymous! I love your Effing Swan post! You rock it! Thank you so much for sharing it here!

    I'll tweet it around a bit!

  11. Ashley? How's that theme going? Have you fallen into HTML and can't get up?


    But seriously.

    I'm so that person that feels those things too! I think, "Oh, if I lose so many pounds then I'm going to be happy." But really, I've also been happy all along, so why would that change?

    I think all of us have moments of weakness like this where we buy into it. Fortunately, my determination to live life steamrolls this inner girl in my brain, so I'm like you.


  13. See, the glitter immediately appeals. I love glitter. I love glitterbombing people.

    But I don't much love me.

    I don't think I could be an effing swan yet. Not most of the time, anyway. I'll learn, I hope.

  14. Katie - It is good to have an inner steamroller. Very good. I think I have one too. Ya'll watch out!

  15. Hey, Lizzi R! Let us be the glitter beneath your hidden swan wings. We'll get you airborne.
    Quick! Somebody put on some Josh Groban or The Ramones or something! We need some swan theme music!
    And some words of encouragement for Lizzi.
    "You is smart, you is kind, you is important." And I'd like to add, "You is effing swan the day you say you are."

  16. Seeing as you reshared this and I therefore only just saw what you asked you can go see my now working website (if you haven't already). There's blogs there and everything. Though I haven't figured out the mailing list thing and a couple pages are still under construction...

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