Thursday, February 11, 2016

Reasons Why it’s Good to Marry an Engineer, Reasons Why it's Good to Marry an Engineer
S.R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe

  • They can answer your science questions faster than Wikipedia. More in-depth too. 
  • They can make fast-talking salesmen cry what with all their logic and ability to bottom line math IN THEIR HEAD. 
  • If something breaks they can MacGyver it faster than you can say DUCT TAPE.
  • Being with a logical Mr./Mrs. Spock-ish spouse is reassuring in an illogical world. You can count on logic.
  • An engineer can get you to the moon, build you a bridge, and heat your house. When it's time to tackle some assembly required, they've got you covered.
  • When they fix YOUR CAR with duct tape and tell you that it is FUCTIONALLY CORRECT, you can threaten to eat all the cake and still be FUNCTIONALLY CORRECT.
  • You never have to worry about keeping your computer running smoothly because their Engineer OCD wants to do it all. 
  • Shortly after the wedding you’ll get your OWN computer because you are getting your Computer Clueless all up in their computer. 
  • When you majorly eff up your computer, you have access to 24/7 tech support in your language.
  • No matter how logical they are, an engineer's problem solving skills are out of this world. It practically borders on creativity. 
  • Engineering demands patience and teamwork, so they're already broken in for marriage.
  • If you have children with an engineer, most of them will be born knowing their math facts (saves time) and all episodes of Star Trek (side effect).
  • You can save loads of $ because your engineer will want a go at fixing things before you call in the professionals. "$600?! Why I can fix that with some string and a paperclip for nothing!"
  • Occasionally you will be awoken by the late night trimmings and trappings of electronics communicating with the mothership. This isn’t a good thing, but it will make sure your life never gets boring.
  • When you swear at the electronics for waking you, at least some of it will apologize. Out loud. (Come on, that’s just cool.)
  • You’re part of Skynet now. Okay, not literally, but metaphorically with literal possibilities. How can that be good? Surely Skynet will have a soft spot for the kin of its creators. (Or a back door program.) You hope.
  • Empathetic people and logical engineers make fabulous matches. One can explain inexplicable human emotion. The other can give you the stats on why you don’t need to stress over the illogical zombie apocalypse—or any other illogical human worry.
  • My engineer once practically saved my life by logic-ing out a medical misdiagnosis. Plus there were all those other times he arrived just in a nick of time with duct tape, string, and a paperclip to save the day.

S.R. Karfelt, Engineering, Functionally Correct
S.R. Karfelt
S.R. Karfelt has been doing time with her enginerd spouse for more than a couple of decades now. She still likes to kiss him and ask how things work. Sometimes she pretends to focus on the entire answer before responding with, "Oh, magic then?" He always confirms, "Yep. Magic."

Sure you could marry someone that you have everything in common with, but where's the fun in that? You're going to spend your entire life liking what you like, why not open yourself up to the adventure of new ideas and worlds?

Expand your world. Love an engineer.

1 comment:

  1. Another brilliant post. The comment about children born knowing math is priceless :)