Things I Learned in 2014

S. R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe

• World domination takes SO MUCH PAPERWORK. #YouCanHaveIt
• Work and workout through the pain, or you don’t make any progress. (I just figured that out last week. #SlowLearner)
• Who wants to live forever? Cake fat.
• There’s really no point in me EVER owning a plant, not even a cactus.
• Hate can turn to love. (Stairmaster. Anything invented by MicroSoft. Dogs that chase you when you jog. Your editor.)
• Love can turn to hate. (Cake. Anything invented by MicroSoft ten minutes later. Your editor one revision later.)
• People you love-hate feel the exact same way about you. Especially your editor (btw I totally love mine, that was all hypothetical).
• White lies can save your life, but everyone knows the truth.
• No matter how convenient the cabinet is, or how sparkly the folders are, I will never, ever file anything in this lifetime. #ThePilesWouldBeSad #INeedABiggerOffice
• Novel writing is best done with no internet connection. #JustGonnaGlanceAtTwitter
• For the love of all that is holy don’t choose a New Year’s dress without trying it on first.
• A SPANX might rearrange your assets, but so would identify theft. The pain is the same.
• Leave waxing to the professionals.
• Your publisher/agent understands marketing better than you do.
• The pedicurist is talking about how big your feet are.
• Every year is a lesson and a revelation, but sometimes I have to retake the class.

You can bet I learned way more than this in 2014, but I also learned when to stop. How about you? What did 2014 teach you?