Tuesday, December 17, 2013

More of What People Really Mean

Photo Credit: Stephanie Karfelt

If you ever need anything, call me. I hope you don’t, but I do care.

Do I look okay in this? Please say yes.

You have a very comfortable house. Mine’s neater.

What kind of car do you drive? What’s in your wallet?

Take Care! Don’t let anything bad happen to you, cause it would totally stress me out!

Can I get you anything while I’m out? While I’m running multiple errands on my lunch break. Don’t even.

Have a Good Day! I’m done talking now.

What a surprise! It’s so nice to see you! I’d totally forgotten about you until now.

See you around! I’m not putting any effort into it though.

Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas, but we’re not allowed to say what we mean anymore.

Sometimes I wake up at 3:00 a.m. and add to this list. My husband snores. Making this list makes me listen to myself speak quite critically. Don’t think I’m doing it when you talk though. I can’t usually hear you over the stories in my head. Please feel free to add to my list! I love it when you talk to me. Is anyone out there?


  1. Sometimes a fish is just a fish. :)

  2. Obviously you do not hang with fishermen. It is never just a fish.

  3. I should give this list to my husband, because he cannot comprehend double meanings in words, which I think is exemplary. Ever since marrying him, I've stopped that whole, 'Oh, no, I'm not hungry. We don't have to stop.' and trying to make my voice sound weak and swoony, like I'm starving. Because to him I'm not hungry!

    So now I say it just like it is, which is really nice. Because when I say, 'Shut up. I'm going to throw a brick at my face if you make fun of me stalling in first gear one more time even though I've driven a clutch since I was 16,' he knows I will really throw a brick at his face.

    Communication! It saves lives.

  4. That should be 'your face' I'd never throw a brick at my own face.

    Well, maybe at home, over the holidays, or something ;)