Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Sweet Antidotes

And my jeans just sigh...

Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt

Can you justify eating one of those caramel apples? That is what those pigs are, in the above picture. I settled for simply snapping their photo, but normally I can justify about any sweet treat. It’s a bit dangerous, not being a math person, rational parameters like ‘a cookie equals a seventy minute run’, rarely enters the math-free mind. It goes more like this:  “Ewwww CAKE! Is that dark chocolate on the sides? OMG, yes! Yes!! Ugh, my jeans are getting tight…but I had salad everyday this month…that would matter more if you stopped pretending like lattes and hot chocolate were healthy food….but I run! Every single day, I run! That too would matter more if you didn’t afterwards sit and type twelve hours a day…well, what about the zombie apocalypse?  If we’re all going to be consumed by the zombie apocalypse, I might as well have cake first! …Yeah, well, you eat that cake and the zombies will devour you first….good point…but that Russian meteorite could have very well hit here, life is short, I’m totally having some cake." 

"Yes, thank you, I'll have a piece.” 

 See what I mean? Sometimes my jeans don't just sigh, they groan.

Like You Wouldn't?
That logic stuff would come in handy when faced with a cake like that. My only real hope is in the fact that I like to do things that require strength and energy. Fear of being stuck in the bottom of The Grand Canyon in my fat pants is not an irrational fear. And I delight in many things that aren’t cake related. Sweet, but healthy antidotes if you will. For instance flowers run a close second to cake, right? Work with me here. I have a special fondness for free flowers. The kind you pick alongside the road, or outside your neighbors' fence. Really nice ones grow there. Take pictures of your flowers and they last a really long time. Do you do that? What do you think, are these as good as cake?

Not Free Flowers

Free Flowers

Free Flowers - Aren't they perfect?
Due to the flu our extended family Christmas celebration merged with Easter this year. We gathered together on a weekend in March to exchange gifts wrapped in aged Christmas paper. Sadly a few chocolate gifts had mysteriously vanished. Everyone was understanding about it, we all know how boxes of good chocolates have a tendency to evaporate. It was fun to mix the holidays up a bit and celebrate anyway we wanted to. Stockings sat beside Easter baskets and the weather pulled springtime out early, which we all preferred over snow. We made my Bohemian Gram’s traditional bunny cakes. If you like coconut, and if you didn't watch the nine year old making them, you’d like these. Since I did happen to watch the nine year old making these, it was very easy to enjoy them without taking a bite. (Trust me, don't eat it.)

Happy Creaster - You don't want no part of this.

They're pretty to look at though, aren't they? I enjoy them even though I don't eat them. I left my round cake pans behind on that Creaster trip, and bought new ones just so I could be sure to make a couple more for the real Easter celebration. Even though I won't actually eat bunny cake, they're tradition. Like daffodils, hyacinth, and someone else's potato salad, some things are just for looks. For instance every spring, birds nest in the eaves of my house here on Spooky Hill. They nest in the fake bush by the front door, and sometimes even inside the wreath on the door. The wreath is a bad idea, because every time someone opens the front door Mama Bird flies into the house. Picture that scene from Chevy Chase's Christmas Vacation with a bird instead of a squirrel and you'll get the picture. (If you're picturing a bird trying to sit on a moving ceiling fan and people trying to catch it with a butterfly net, you've got it.)

Not for use in potato salad.  Don't eat.

Score! Yes, Yes, Eat That One! (Nah, it's milk chocolate, let it hatch!)

What is as sweet as sugar in your life? I'm compiling a list of sweet things that are better than cake, better than the ears of a chocolate bunny, and something that won't make my pants sigh. Do you have anything to offer? In addition to free flowers, I'll offer up jumping on the bed too. What can you add to my list?

Jumping on the bed. A sweet antidote.


  1. Hammock naps, ukulele songs around a campfire, sunsets over the ocean, board game night with my kids, a good read in a bubble bath, philosophical conversations with my daughter, the sound of my son's laughter.

  2. Hawaii. And Hawaiian Pineapple. Every day is sweet when you're there - I bet even if you have to work. There are egrets and geckos and whales...
    Also, anytime on of my four year olds from Sunday School makes me something in the toy kitchen. That is sweeter than cake.
    "Teacher. I made you an ice cream salad with jello and hamburger! Do you like it?"
    Of course, Sweet Sawyer. I love it.