Thursday, February 28, 2013

I Love Being a Girl

Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt

Tonight I waxed my own eyebrows. Yeah. 
Guess I need to get bangs.
And really big sunglasses.


Girl Facts:

Your eyebrows are fine. Leave them alone.

The adhesive in sanitary napkins only sticks to two things, and we both know that cloth isn't one of those.

Whoever put hooks in the back of sports bras obviously never really exercises/wears one.

Mascara will make you sneeze. I think it was formulated by a guy going through an ugly divorce.

That same guy designed baby strollers.

Lip plumper will get on your tongue.

Candy bars and diet soda just go together.
Like Salad and Cookies.

Your mother will drive you insane.
You will drive your mother insane.
(Maybe life is fair.)

Girls who say they can eat anything they want and not gain weight have no girlfriends.

Wearing black will turn you into a giant lint roller.
Wearing white will turn you into a magnet for muddy dogs and children who just ate Spaghettios.

Size “Large” is just fashion's way of saying you don’t fit in, Cow-Girl.
(Fashion is a mean-girl.)

Runway models make you realize that either you, or they, are on the wrong planet.

Thanks to HDTV your skin concludes my alien theory. You belong on Planet Pores in the Large Galaxy.

Mr. Darcy is just a guideline.
Real men do not talk like movie men.
Real women do not act like movie women, unless it involves alcohol – which could possibly alter the above statement too.

Good guys refuse to wear white hats and make your life easier.
Tall, dark, and handsome isn’t nature’s white hat. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Freshly painted nails will trigger Murphy’s Law.

A megalomaniac deviant billionaire boyfriend is hard to come by, and that is without doubt a good thing.

An ice-cold, blood-sucking vampire boyfriend isn’t hard to find, and that is a bad thing.

How about you? Do you have anything to add to my list of Girl Facts? Surely there are times in your day where you just want to look up at the sky and shout, "I love being a girl". Kind of like a movie woman would do. You don’t have to be a girl to get into the spirit of this thing either, but I cannot offer you any protection if you don't talk like a movie man. 
What Girl Facts has life taught you?
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