Thursday, August 9, 2012

Mouse Trap



It feels like a mouse crawled into my ear. It didn’t die though, because sometimes I can hear it swallow. Wonder what type of doctor specializes in that?  Refusing to allow a stray rodent to keep me from my novel any longer, I got out of my sickbed and started moving some commas around. You don’t have to be able to hear from both ears to work on your novel.

Despite rumors to the contrary, apparently I do some housework, because the landscape sure changed around here in the last ten days. I didn’t have the energy to double check, but I’m pretty sure that every dish was dirty. My buddy, Zeus, stopped by for lunch. He was disappointed to find that my illness had kept me from keeping enough food in the house to satisfy a giant. Thanks to my loved ones though, there was enough canned soup for just that purpose. I told him about my ear mouse, and we tossed around the likelihood of medical intervention providing any relief. I’ve become a firm believer that, like in the case of a jury trial, you need to provide physical evidence of your complaint when you see a doctor. You know, like a missing or broken limb, oozing, or at least having the decency to faint a bit. I doubt I could provide the mouse. Zeus considered this theory, and said, “Look at you!  Trust me - they’ll believe you’re sick!”  Sometimes I worry that Zeus will never get married. For the record, I was planning to shower today – well – at least I decided to after he said that. Zeus then urged me to get some groceries, insisting that I’d blend just fine at Walmart. If he does get married, I’ll bet he disappears.
The Doctor did confirm the whole ear-mouse theory. Well, okay, she called it fluid in the eustachian tube, but she can't feel it! She told me it might take three months to get better. I am not satisfied with this prognosis - so I'm looking for home remedies while brushing up on my sign language. So far I've tried blasting him out with my iPod.  I couldn't hear it, and I suspect neither could the mouse because he didn't even move, let alone dance out. Tried running and yoga hoping to knock him loose. The only thing that happened with that is I needed a twelve hour nap after, and I think he ate while I napped because I'm pretty sure he's bigger. Please feel free to post your ideas!
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The Epic Slinky Dog Giveaway continues!  Leave a blog comment. Every time I get five new followers, I draw from those who left a comment. They're going so fast - well - fast as Slinky Dogs can go.  Okay, that's not very fast, but two went out just this week!  Woo-hoo! 
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