It wasn't Jeniene's Ted Talk that earned her the Bad Ass Life Changer title. It wasn't those who might have faced her during her litigator years, or the students whose lives were affected by her. For me what cemented the moniker were those who spoke during her memorial service and said, she was my best friend. Because once you got to know Jeniene and the honesty and integrity of this incredible woman, likely she became and will remain the best of friends to you.
We met at a Women Reading Aloud workshop 800 years ago in 2015. The workshop took place on a small island in Greece. Alonissos is a tough island to get to, requiring multiple flights and a ferry ride. After dragging my suitcase aboard and finding a spot to sit on the outside deck of the ferry, I sat and watched an impossibly blue sea where dolphins actually jumped out of the water around the prow. A few other women wandered to the front of the ferry to watch. We exchanged glances until someone asked, "Are you going to the writing retreat?"
Exhausted but excited, we grouped together, asking, "Where are you from?" "What do you write?" instant confidantes in a foreign land. We marveled at the blue water, the blue sky, rugged islands with white-washed buildings stacked up hillsides. "Can you believe we're in this incredible place?" Jeniene said, "What did we do right to get to be here?" From the start, she had a knack of saying exactly what I was feeling.
Over the course of that workshop we wrote together as a group, and read our stories out loud. Skipping the usual pleasantries like, "What do you do for a living?" Instead, we learned the most important facts about each other, love, loss, dreams, and fears. Jeniene told the entire group about her boy, her son. Her entire demeanor brightened when she shared stories of him. She may or may not have said out loud, he is my person, my reason for being, my heart. The sentiment was communicated just the same. Nothing makes a person more attractive than joy.
Later, over the years and bit by bit, Jeniene would often say, as though in grateful astonishment, "I have the best life. The best husband. The best Golden Retriever. The best cat. The best job." As I got to know her, I'd have to agree. Once, I had the pleasure of spending a morning in her class at St. Marks. This is a private school where most students board and the classroom sizes are small. We sat at a large table with ten students and Jeniene tossed out an ice-breaker about a time you got hurt doing something. As a guest I started with, "Once I sat on a monkey's cage and got bitten." It launched the most entertaining and interesting discussion, and I still remember those students' stories.
After touring the school and the grounds, I wanted to live my life over again and go there. Most of all I agreed with Jeniene, she had the best life. It didn't come easy. She paid her dues becoming a lawyer, being a lawyer, and changing her career path mid-stride. Being a storyteller, she had stories for every step of the way. The best kind of stories, honest, sincere, and relatable.
When Jeniene told her stories, she didn't often include battling cancer for sixteen years. Yet she did that too while living her beautiful and amazing life. The kind of life that you want to be close to, and that quietly reminds you that you too can lead a beautiful and amazing life, no matter how much effort it takes. Because isn't that goal worth everything you have to give? She gave it her all, and anyone who saw that wanted to be like that too.
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| Me and my bestie, Jeniene |
