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Friday, April 10, 2015
Reasons Why it Sucks to be the Evolutionary Superior Model (Female)
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You are brave and awesome! There are so many for this list, but I think you hit the main categories. lol.ReplyDelete
Thank you, LaDonna. I spent way too much time thinking this one over. It made me feel like an effing swan on thin ice. Is it worrisome that I like that feeling?ReplyDelete
This made me laugh. I appreciated it. :)ReplyDelete
OMG- hilarous! I needed this this morning. :)ReplyDelete
You can be an effing swan on thin ice...swans can swim!ReplyDelete
I feel like the makeup one is big. And eyebrows. Mine today are emphasized but is that still a thing? Wait, are they supposed to be plucked to the point of baldness or thick and unibrow-y? Which one is in?
Glad I made you laugh, Anonymous!ReplyDelete
Hey, Kirstin! :D
Good point, Kelsey--Swans can swim (but can they scuba dive?). In an attempt to circumvent eyebrow problems, I've gone with extra-long bangs. Highly recommend this evolutionary superior model life hack.
“My uterus has nail-gunned me to the floor and there’s a Manson-Murder blood trail through my house,” HA! Mine just took me out right now. I have especially bad ones too that have involved me literally passing out in public then people tell me suck it up all women go through it...... also I only wore makeup once at a mary kay party and have no idea what to do with it. I can't wear heels because I'm clumsy, and basically, I have failed society's image of a woman entirely. But this post just made me feel better! :D lolReplyDelete
Hey Rebecca--Passing out in public sounds like you WERE sucking it up. See what happens? Surely it's better not to rip the nail gun loose and just stay there on the floor.ReplyDelete
Glad my post made you feel better, your comment made me lol, and even if you've failed society's image, you're in good company and I know you're still an effing swan.
I am seriously dying. *Waves hand in front of face* this is just too much funny!ReplyDelete
This has to be one of THE best blogs I have read in a long time. Seriously. You have become my idol. Everything you have listed is right on the money. And the nail-gun/Manson-family analogy is priceless.ReplyDelete
I cannot possibly think of anything you have missed. You got it all. Except perhaps for flip-flops. I know lots of people love them but for me they are just as painful as high heels so I'll stick with my super-sonic Brooks tennis shoes and be on my way. Or my combat boots.
I do think we need Dr. Frank N Furter to weigh in on these items, especially from a man's perspective. I expect he could have some awesome tales to tell.
You rock, sweetie!
Thanks so much, Joni!ReplyDelete
The muse and I felt that these were all set in concrete factoids. We were both born with a crippling deficiency in the lady skills department, although we both share an obsessive love of high heels. The only thing is that I can't walk in them.
Of course my muse sees no reason that writers need to walk anyway. As long as I can clench a pencil in my jaws, or type with my nose she'll continue to use me up. I'm so lucky.
This has me laughing. :)ReplyDelete
Thanks Becky! I love to make people laugh! (You too Katie!)ReplyDelete
Holy crow.... this is hilarious and true.ReplyDelete