Friday, September 27, 2013

Every Day Things

Author, S. R. Karfelt's McFail List

Unless you’re a character in a novel or film, ya gotta do everyday things, and I for one suck at them. The organization and implementation of everyday things doesn’t look very impressive on my life resume.

·         Getting up on time. McFail.

·         Breakfast. I eat the same thing every single morning (oatmeal) because I simply can’t make these sorts of decisions in the morning. Problem: It takes me an hour to cook and eat it. After years of breakfast oatmeal, I kinda have to force feed it to myself, and who’s feeling cooperative in the morning? McFail.

·         Working out. I do this everyday because I basically sit for a living. I turned my dining room into an exercise room thanks to Dear Hubby’s prowess on eBay. I usually finish up about noon despite that convenience. Workout good, noon? McFail.

·         Time for the day to begin. What’s for lunch? (Kidding, mostly.) 

·         Shower or write first? Since I pass my office on the way to the shower, guess which one usually wins? I am so glam.

·         When forced to leave the house, shower always wins. (You’re welcome.)

·         Leaving the house for any reason usually consumes the entire day. Because it is then that I realize:

o   Car needs gas.
o   Gas needs money.
o   Bank.
o   Haven’t checked the P.O. Box for book related stuff in…awhile and I need to mail books to people.
o   Staples for office supplies. You need big envelopes to mail books to people.
o   Ooh, there’s Barnes & Noble nearby, I need books too.
o   B&N is next to TJMaxx and I still need a new purse. Mission Accomplished, and then some, one hour later.
o   Target is across the street, wouldn’t paper towels be nice! Once inside I stock up hoping I never have to return.

§  Lifetime supply of paper products.
§  Toiletries.
§  Chocolate.
§  Lightbulbs, most are burned out.
§  New lamp. Some assembly required. Rut roh, Scooby.
§  Baggies. Do I need these? I don’t know, but I won’t again this year.

o   Speaking of Christmas, the mall is nearby. I have coupons for candles from three different stores. So I go there.

§  Bath & Bodyworks – candles.
§  Yankee Candle – candles.
§  Hallmark – candles.
§  Stagger back to my car with fifty pounds of candles.
§  Guess wot’s for Christmas? (Don’t tell.)
§  Yes I’m thinking about Christmas. There shall be two novels written, NaNoWriMo, and conferences between here and there. It’s candles, folks, and maybe a box of baggies.

o   Lunch time. Stop at my favorite café. Visit with people.
o   Post office fifteen minutes before it closes. Oops, realize these books aren’t all getting mailed domestic. In fifteen minutes I fill out five customs forms AND help a senior citizen with her parcels. *Feeling Amazing*
o   Dang, forgot to check the P.O. Box…again.

·         Back at home Dear Hubby is waiting, politely wondering what is for dinner. Why, oh why does anyone ever ask me this question? Go out? Um, okay.

·         And that is how an entire day to write begins at 9:00 p.m. McFail.

S. R. Karfelt
Camera McFail
This blog is dedicated to my clone, who asked me today which everyday things I’m awful at. So I will repeat her question to you. What everyday things are you awful, terrible, no good at? Yes, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition. I’m actually fairly good at that stuff, sometimes, though, I just McFail there too.


  1. As I said in my blog - I fail at phone calls. Truth is, though, I fail at more than that.

    I fail at errands. I just never want to do them.

    I fail at small talk - who ever thought that would be a good idea?

  2. Kelsey asked first, so you get the copy/paste answer.
    Laundry. I hate folding clothes so they typically don't get past the clothes basket (the last load usually doesn't get past the dyer until laundry day the next week).
    I also hate doing dishes, but we have a dishwasher now so I'm better than I used to be.
    And I'm with Kels on the small talk. So tedious.

  3. Small talk is so boring isn't it, Kelse? Especially when they could be giving you intimate useful details for novel usage, right?

  4. Heretic - I hear and relate. So. How are you? (So much funny.)

  5. Heretic - I hear and relate. So. How are you? (So much funny.)

  6. I fail at housework, social skills, yard work, finishing things that I start, etc. And phone calls are scaaaaaaaaaary.