Monday, July 1, 2013

When Harry Met Sally and Other Conundrums

The Perfect* Healthy Lunch
*Perfect when paired with the dessert below

You know those scenes in WHMS when Sally orders in restaurants and she wants salad dressing on the side, and her pie heated, but the ice-cream separate, and make it strawberry instead of vanilla, and if they don’t have strawberry just whipped cream if it is real, but nothing if it isn’t? I really don’t get why that is either amusing or annoying. Those things matter. If you don’t like your lettuce floating in dressing like soup, or your pie drenched in melted ice-cream, speak up. She was thorough. You’ll be glad I’m thorough if you read my novels. Okay, maybe not so much if I’m ordering with you in a restaurant, but do you like salad soup either?
Paired with Cheesecake Factory dessert* and an awesome read.
*real whipped cream, Sally
What did you think about the singing scene in The Hobbit movie? It thrilled me. Remember the book had so many songs in it? Hobbits sing a lot. I adore when a movie is true to a book. When I saw the first Harry Potter movie I was determined not to like it. How could it possibly be as good as the book? Nothing is as good as the book. Yet those movies were adorable. It was delightful to see the books come to life on the screen. I think the readers forgave the slight differences as ransom for the visual, and occasional scraps of information not in the books.

I wonder if people sing less now than before the invention of reproducible music. A couple hundred years ago one might have gone their entire life without realizing just what a lame singer they were compared to the musical greats. Maybe without radio, iPods, and television we’d devote more time to honing our own signing voices. I know mine could use it, though I also doubt it could pass in any century without someone letting slip it sucked.

Speaking of conundrums, did you ever watch any Star Trek? Remember in TNG episodes where people would get hit with a Phaser and disappear but not actually die? They’d kind of be invisible and trying to get back? Running around the ship they’d try to drop hints that they were there, but if they got too close to the walls and went through them, they’d be lost in space and die for real. Cynics used to say what about the floor? If they went through the walls, wouldn’t they drop through the floors. I say don’t be ridiculous. They’re on the Enterprise, there are many decks, they’d just drop to another deck. They only die when they accidentally pass through the wrong walls. I’ve spent time pondering this. Speaking of Phaser guns, don’t they look like glue guns? 

Right now I’m working on a book called Time Travel Jeep. Time travel is rife with conundrums. I have this entire story ready with one slight problem. In the opening scene Lizzy accidentally ends up in the past and plays Scrabble with her dead Grandmother. Spoiler alert right here, but I simply must tell you this. When she accidentally comes back to the future, she’s got Grandma’s dog with her, a nasty rat terrier with a penchant for gnawing on the Jeep interior. Now there is someplace Lizzy wants to go with her Time Travel Jeep, but she doesn’t have the most cooperative time machine. Throughout the story Lizzy, and me, are stuck with this rat terrier and we’re both trying to figure out how the heck to get it back to the past where it belongs! What I’d really like to do is take it back to its past and let it be its own grandpa. That would explain some of the inbred wickedness in that dog. I am open to suggestions, though. What would you do with that rat terrier? Perhaps I worded that wrong. How would you suggest getting that dog back to where it belongs?


  1. This was the most random blog I've ever read! LOVE it! How did we get from soupy lettuce to rat terriers in space? Ha! I would love to spend a day in the glitter globe! Can that be my next vacation wish? Hmmm, the rat terrier could get hit by a phaser while eating soupy lettuce! That should do the trick! lol
    ~ LaDonna

  2. Could we hot glue him a little bit too? To the past where he belongs? That could be worth a try! Randomness happens, especially when traveling great distances and not sleeping, right? It all made perfect sense when I wrote it.
    You can spend the day here anytime, might need to sign a waiver though. ;)

  3. So much wonderful laughter here Sally. You're Sally right now.
    But sometimes you're Harry (when I'm Sally).
    That could get as random or confusing as this blog could be to someone on alergy medication.

    I wonder how the dog gets back. I used to know that song "I'm my own Grandpa"
    It was super weird later.
    Super weird.

  4. Dear Harry,

    Just say no to allergy meds.

    Your friend,

  5. Lizzy is packing to move and Dukie, I mean the rat terrier, crawls into one of the boxes unbeknownst to Lizzy and gets taped (or glued - it's your story) into the box. The box "accidentally" gets left in the Jeep. The rat terrier box annoys the Jeep so much it malfunctions, goes on its own journey, opens the tailgate and the rat terrier box falls out somewhere in time. It's possible. Dukie could have driven machinery crazy. But he was loved in that disfunctional relative kinda way.

  6. I actually love the idea that the Jeep spits him out somewhere in time! LOL.

  7. What a rollicking ride you took us on, Steph! Your commenters, too. I'm just glad not to be a Phasered person on a Srtarship or a rat terrier in a Jeep, for that matter. But it is a "beam me up, Scottie!" day. Where's the button on that durn thing?