Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year's Revolution

Do you ever, ever dance like no one is watching?  Oh yes I do, it is just one reason my kids only dance with me in the privacy of our own house. Have you ever paid money so that you could purchase a plan or a product that was going to allow you to lose weight?  Sweet Pete me too, and what a SCAM every single contrived weight loss program I ever invested in was. Big, fat liars the whole lot of them. Here is my own big fat weight loss secret, and for a limited time offer it is free just for you. I’m magnanimous like that. Eat whatever the heck you want to eat, minus those things that make you not feel good AND be honest with yourself about it. What’d you expect?  The cookie, pizza diet?  Sorry, but it’s free and it works.
How about singing?  I adore singing, unfortunately no one else enjoys my skills beyond my immediate…  me. Then there is the fact that lyrics apparently live in the same area of the brain that controls the tune coming out of the mouth, let’s just say that this varies wildly in the human species. There is a solution to this dilemma, and I highly recommend investigating these possibilities if your singing, too, causes dolphins to swim in-land. No one wants to be responsible for beached marine mammals. You do not have to be condemned to only singing in the shower when you’re home alone. Check out these venues:  cars, sing-along pubs, dances with bands/DJs, rock concerts, churches in cities where no one knows you, motorcycles (bugs are protein) and outside during 40+ mph winds (being mindful of who is downwind of course).
As an adult do you talk to strangers?  Being a storyteller of course I do, and it’s rare that I regret it. This includes standing in lines, customer support and public transportation. It’s not just that I’m trolling for story fodder, it’s interesting. I’m sorry to be the bearer of sad tidings, but those seconds ticking away while you’re waiting silently are irretrievable. What’s the harm in starting a chat with a stranger?  You might learn something, you might share something, you might stare in wide-eyed wonder before backing away slowly when they adopt a fake European accent and ask you for a red Lamborghini, while telling you to make it snappy.
At any rate, you’re invited to join in my New Year’s Revolution. The plan is in pencil, as all good plans are. It involves more dancing, sharing, bad singing, storytelling, and at least one extreme sport. Maybe two. Also, a healthy dose of insubordination is included. There are no cookies planned, but there will be chocolate - of course, because like dancing the muse demands it.


  1. Heh, i looked for the "Like" button before i realised just where i was! I sing, whistle, hum, whatever ~ i was just whistling My Bonnie walking down the street about ten minutes ago ~ and dance if no one's watching! So, i'm up for it. But, no cookies? Really? Like, none? Because i love cookies. Gooey, chocolatey, Abi cookies. Please...?

  2. No cookies PLANNED Elsie - a necessary survival plan (in pencil) for cookieholics. We must, of course, be polite should someone come bearing such wondrous gifts.