Friday, September 27, 2013

Every Day Things

Author, S. R. Karfelt's McFail List

Unless you’re a character in a novel or film, ya gotta do everyday things, and I for one suck at them. The organization and implementation of everyday things doesn’t look very impressive on my life resume.

·         Getting up on time. McFail.

·         Breakfast. I eat the same thing every single morning (oatmeal) because I simply can’t make these sorts of decisions in the morning. Problem: It takes me an hour to cook and eat it. After years of breakfast oatmeal, I kinda have to force feed it to myself, and who’s feeling cooperative in the morning? McFail.

·         Working out. I do this everyday because I basically sit for a living. I turned my dining room into an exercise room thanks to Dear Hubby’s prowess on eBay. I usually finish up about noon despite that convenience. Workout good, noon? McFail.

·         Time for the day to begin. What’s for lunch? (Kidding, mostly.) 

·         Shower or write first? Since I pass my office on the way to the shower, guess which one usually wins? I am so glam.

·         When forced to leave the house, shower always wins. (You’re welcome.)

·         Leaving the house for any reason usually consumes the entire day. Because it is then that I realize:

o   Car needs gas.
o   Gas needs money.
o   Bank.
o   Haven’t checked the P.O. Box for book related stuff in…awhile and I need to mail books to people.
o   Staples for office supplies. You need big envelopes to mail books to people.
o   Ooh, there’s Barnes & Noble nearby, I need books too.
o   B&N is next to TJMaxx and I still need a new purse. Mission Accomplished, and then some, one hour later.
o   Target is across the street, wouldn’t paper towels be nice! Once inside I stock up hoping I never have to return.

§  Lifetime supply of paper products.
§  Toiletries.
§  Chocolate.
§  Lightbulbs, most are burned out.
§  New lamp. Some assembly required. Rut roh, Scooby.
§  Baggies. Do I need these? I don’t know, but I won’t again this year.

o   Speaking of Christmas, the mall is nearby. I have coupons for candles from three different stores. So I go there.

§  Bath & Bodyworks – candles.
§  Yankee Candle – candles.
§  Hallmark – candles.
§  Stagger back to my car with fifty pounds of candles.
§  Guess wot’s for Christmas? (Don’t tell.)
§  Yes I’m thinking about Christmas. There shall be two novels written, NaNoWriMo, and conferences between here and there. It’s candles, folks, and maybe a box of baggies.

o   Lunch time. Stop at my favorite cafĂ©. Visit with people.
o   Post office fifteen minutes before it closes. Oops, realize these books aren’t all getting mailed domestic. In fifteen minutes I fill out five customs forms AND help a senior citizen with her parcels. *Feeling Amazing*
o   Dang, forgot to check the P.O. Box…again.

·         Back at home Dear Hubby is waiting, politely wondering what is for dinner. Why, oh why does anyone ever ask me this question? Go out? Um, okay.

·         And that is how an entire day to write begins at 9:00 p.m. McFail.

S. R. Karfelt
Camera McFail
This blog is dedicated to my clone, who asked me today which everyday things I’m awful at. So I will repeat her question to you. What everyday things are you awful, terrible, no good at? Yes, I know I ended that sentence with a preposition. I’m actually fairly good at that stuff, sometimes, though, I just McFail there too.

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