Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Dirty Little Secrets

·         Insomnia can be fun if you’re a reader. Sometimes I fake it.
·         Even though we broke up, occasionally I cheat and eat chocolate anyway. Usually after a day of organic salads and oatmeal. You have to want to change your behavior they say.
·         I pray on the toilet an awful lot.
·         Now and then I watch Jenna Marbles videos on YouTube for hours. I think she is hysterical.
·         I count weddings and funerals as church attendance.
·         I never NEVER answer the telephone. If I wanted to talk to someone, I’d call them.
·         You know those security questions you get for on-line accounts? I refuse to give real information. I make up stuff that amuses me. Different stuff for every account. I hate when they won’t let you put in 1887 for the year you were born.
·         I don’t take medicine*. Well, I take it from the Doctor, but I don’t actually take it. This is because in the past I’ve never had a medication that actually made anything better. If I’m very, very lucky, this will be the case my entire life. *Antibiotics are an exception.
·         Everything inside the maul is a writing prompt, it is freaking exhausting.
·         Sometimes it is necessary to dig another suitcase out of the attic when going on a trip, because I haven’t unpacked from last time…or the time before that one either. This is the first time I’ve had to buy a new one though. I’m running out of clothes.
·         Matching socks is anal behavior, in my opinion.
·         I have this theory about why guys are stronger than women. It’s so not politically correct. Suffice to say if they weren’t they’d be extinct by now. Maybe it’s just me though. It is fishing season you know.
·         Though I’m totally a bleeding heart about animals, I can turn on a dime if there is a mouse in the attic, or a snake in the living room. I can flip from PETA candidate to NRA Camo-Chick faster than you can say, “There’s a bear by the back door.”
·         I always carry an Epic Slinky Dog in my purse. This is handy for photo ops, and may or may not explain why your toddler keeps trying to climb over the pew in church.

Photo Credit: Suzy Young (Who also apparently carries Slinky with her.)

Once again it is confession time in The Glitter Globe. If your Dirty Little Secret is epic, I’ll send you an Epic Slinky Dog. Be sure to officially follow my blog, and leave contact information in your comment!
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