Thursday, December 20, 2012

It’s The End of the World as We Know It…again.




Got your running shoes on?


Once Upon a Time…I worked with a guy who was flat out certain that the end of the world would happen within months. He saw all the signs, and the then President had some telltale mark. During the workday while I designed power point presentations, he’d whisper about the Seven Signs of the Apocalypse. Let’s call my old work buddy BM for short. I have my reasons. Whenever I couldn’t take it anymore I’d make bets with him. “BM?  Betcha it doesn’t end by Friday.”  “You’ll see and then you’ll know I was right.”  As if that is how it would work, as if my first thought (last thought?) as the sun exploded would be, “Golly, BM was right!  Silly me!” 
Perhaps I should be ashamed to admit I took advantage. At the time I considered it to be a perk for listening to the clap trap. Once BM had to shell out for chocolate cake for our whole group if the world didn’t end by his latest date, apparently he’d had a glitch in his calculations, so he paid for the cake and moved the date. When that date came and went he ended up having to treat those who sat nearest him to dinner, at an exclusive restaurant that none of us could afford. (He didn’t mind, because since the world was ending, he didn’t have to worry about money.)  Wonder what he’s doing now…and I hope he hasn’t spent all the time since, worrying.

Then there was the Y2K glitch at the end of 1999, when all the computers on earth were going to blue screen (or was it green screen then?) and throw us into the Dark Ages. By Dark Ages I suppose they meant something like the ‘80’s, back to the days when paperwork involved paper. The scariest part about that was if the hairstyles came back too. I remember asking friends I considered computer experts how badly computers would be affected. The answer I received was, “You might want to stock up on pickles and beer.” I pretended to understand that, but did neither. I consider myself blessed to have friends and neighbors who worry even less than I do. They tend to not sweat the small stuff, like my love of dandelions.

Now it is the Mayan calendar (coupled with the pop culture phenomenon of bringing tidbits of information that few of us really have any clue about) that creates something new to stress over. This is one of those things I just don’t worry about. What is the point in worrying about things nobody on the planet can control?  Though, I admit I did use it as an excuse not to clean my attic this fall. Dear Hubby just rolled his eyes. (Note to self:  Come up with another excuse for spring.)  Recently a frustrated, professional worrier said to me, “What will you do if the world ends and you didn’t even know it was coming?!”  Really?  That is kind of my game plan.

Still it brings up some interesting philosophies. If the world was going to end, what would you do differently?  Since everyone’s world ends eventually, I figure it is a question to consider. Is there something you’d really like to change in your life?  Right now the only thing that I would do differently – if the world was ending tomorrow – is to eat an enormous diabetes-inducing pile of Christmas chocolate. After that I’d spend my last minutes on earth nauseous. Nauseous would make the ending easier to take I think. That is my theory anyway. What’s yours?

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I'd like to hear your theory or philosophy.  Epic Slinky Dogs will be randomly awarded to two people who leave comments. Be sure to follow my blog to be eligible.  (And check back to see if you won, it's really hard to find "Jiggly Puff" and "Anonymous" on the Internet.)
Epic Slinky Dog Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt

5 comments:

  1. If the world was going to end, what would you do differently?

    Not a thing. =) I pretty much rocked this life the best I could.

    Is there something you’d really like to change in your life?

    My only regret would be that there are still 4 dogs here that I didn't get into a family before the "end". Oh, and not finishing my novel. ;)

    What’s your theory?

    My theory is that we will all wake up Saturday morning, check ourselves over, look out the window, and say, "Wow. Still here."

    Then those that were expecting the end will be one of two things:

    Relieved- yay more time to get it right!

    -OR-

    Panicked- Now I have to find a new job since I told my boss to stick it because the world is ending.

    The rest of us will smile, go about our business, and secretly laugh at the ones that spent so much time worrying over silly things like the "end".

    Live each day. Don't worry about the "end" - worry about the "NOW". ;)



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  2. Not to go all "Christianese" on you, but every time I think about the world ending I ask myself "If the world ended...is so-and-so going to heaven? If she isn't...what did you do to prevent that?"

    It's a good tool to keep me in contact with my friends. Sad I need that help, but very true.

    Otherwise...there's nothing I need. If I KNEW the world was ending I would probably go kiss that really cute coworker simply because I wouldn't have to worry what he thought about me when it was over ;)
    But that's about it.

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  3. DMK - You did rock this life. Miss Roller Derby/Writer/Dog Rescuer Extraordinaire. I like your attitude. Maybe I should bring my Time Travel Jeep by and help you with those puppies.

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  4. STAND BACK.
    The Shieldmaiden is going all Christianese.
    Sorry. Had to. Poor impulse control.
    Speaking of which...is the guy single? If he is I double - nay - triple-dog dare you to kiss him. Shoot if I'd have known about this guy I'd have sent an ESD with mistletoe attached.
    Do it.
    I mean, just to be on the safe side, right?

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  5. If I really believed today was the last day of time I would start by making sure that everyone I ever loved knew about it (call them up and tell them I loved them). I would hug those closest to me tight including my dog. I would seek forgiveness from people I might have offended in the past/present. I would pray and ask God for His ultimate forgiveness and mercy. Lastly, I would eat whatever I wanted—a huge juicy steak, loaded baked potato and meringue cookies mostly! :)

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If you can hear me, verbose on me. Or throw glitter. Wotever.