Sunday, October 7, 2012

What's Your Sign?

Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
 
There is a bridge out near Spooky Hill. A cryptic detour routes you through a scenic, mostly one lane road, with car-swallowing ditches on the sides. Today I played chicken with a FedEx truck. You don’t want to do that. I didn’t want to do that, but it is wooded and I was going downhill. By the time the truck came into view, all I could do was pray. The detour makes Spooky Hill even more difficult to find. Turn right by the missing bridge, left past the horse farm, and drive through the woods until you hear banjo music - then turn left on Beers Road. Hopefully you have a GPS because there are no street signs on Beers Road. I have a theory about why, and it involves a sneaking suspicion that a big ‘BEERS’ sign might be considered art in a college dorm.
Once I lived on a road where speed bumps were installed by the local homeowners association. One of the residents took it upon himself to order signs warning drivers of the under-carriage scraping bumps. Next thing you knew there were big blue signs installed along the road that said HUMP. Yep, those disappeared by the first Wednesday. The guy who ordered them was perplexed, God love him, “Why do they keep swiping my HUMP signs?”  No one was going to take that on, but they were soon replaced with BUMP signs – apparently not as popular in college dorms.
 
Back when Spooky Hill was being haunted by the Evil Contractor (Link to Evil Contractor posts here: When Pigs Backfire and Pirate Attack) somebody had the audacity to refer to it as Hell Hill. That was a bit of an exaggeration, purgatory perhaps, but certainly not hell. Admittedly Evil Contractor and his minions had a frightening effect on the residents of Spooky Hill, warping their sense of humor – perhaps permanently. So a Hell Hill sign was promptly ordered and custom made. At the very next neighborhood gathering, the sign was hung over the Spooky Hill road sign, and we all had a collective laugh about it. That night after I tucked the kids into bed, I asked Dear Hubby if the sign had been taken down. Unsure, he shrugged and promised to check in the morning. It didn’t seem an issue, who comes to Spooky Hill at night anyway?  You probably have as much chance of stumbling upon El Dorado in the dark. So no worries, right? 
Dude. We want our sign back.
***
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
 
In celebration of another October on Spooky Hill I’m giving away Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans!*  Now if these candies were to contain a flavor of my choice, it would be Poppyseed – and my idea of a nasty flavor would definitely be Pig’s Feet – which my Bohemian Gram used to make to terrify the Grandchildren into submission.
Today the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans are an easy win. Based on your own life, what flavor would you like to see included?  And based on your own childhood, what flavor would be your own personal nightmare?  I’m planning to give away five boxes, so post away.
Of course the Epic Slinky Dog giveaway continues too. Be sure to follow my blog -à over there and leave a comment if you want a chance to win a Slinky Dog. For every five new followers, I draw a random name from the comments section. How easy is that?

*British spelling for my Beta.

 
 

 

92 comments:

Kelsey-plain and simple said...

Ever amusing. Always the best. One day I hope to blog as well as you. Being said...I live on Buttercup. but I'd rather have a street name like "Spooky Hill". Too cool.

Let's think, Bertie Botts...flavor it would have to include...well, the original jelly bean flavor I love best is Tutti Frutti, but otherwise I think it would be fun to find scotcharoo or puppy chow flavor in the mix.

And my horror: As a picky eater, there are many I wouldn't like, but I hate Salmon. Hate it with a passion. I see Salmon and I run. It haunts me. No, let's not speak of it any longer...the thoughts burn.

LaDonna said...

Epic street name! Love it! It reminds me of a child hood story about the mysterious light of Boggy Creek...anyway... Most favoritest flavor, uht, I mean flavour would be another childhood memory. There was a little old lady in our church that used to make the most amazing 3 layer cakes and bring them to my family as her "tithe". (BEST TITHE, EVER!) She was famous for her chocolate but I was partial to the Coconut Cake, so the best flavoUr of Bertie Bots would be Aunt Dee's Three Layer Coconut Cake.
Now the worst flavoUr is a bit of a challenge. But I have an idea. We own a Thermax vacuum cleaner. It's the kind that has the water tank. Man does that thing clean. But recently I found the tank full of 6 week old sludge that had not been emptied since my son used it to clean up after his hair cut. GAGGGGGG!!!! Based on that smell alone, I would have to say the worst flavoUr bean would be Six Week Old Putrified Vacuum Cleaner water. There it is! Happy October!

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Kelsey - I. Luv. Salmon. Really. Perhaps not in a bean. Yet if they made one, we could both appreciate it. When you see salmon and you run, do you head upstream? Just wonderin'.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

LaDonna - Do you ever make Aunt Dee's Three Layer Coconut Cake? *making call me sign* I'll bring a couple of Slinky Dogs and we could have a tea party.
And your gross flavor - that is pretty awesomely gross. Really. Yep. Flooded old basement gross. Cool. With hair it in. Epic.

Kelsey-plain and simple said...

LaDonna - your gross flavour made me gag!! ACK! SUCH GAG!
*Goes and brushes teeth*

Linnette R Mullin said...

Favorite flavor. Hmm... Peach or blackberry. Grandma made the best cobblers!! Oh! And apple pie or fried apple! Can we go with Mixed Fruit - not all the flavors in one, but a variety pack! :D Fruit Mix! That's it! :D

Worst flavor? Umm... stink bug. Hated those things. They're so ugly you wanted to kill them, but the smell! Ugh! No Stink Bug flavor for me, thank you!

Rob Holliday said...

Spooky Hill, what a great name. Nowadays, having left the housing / development industry not that long ago, the names are so mundane. I live on Wind Hollow- that's about as exciting as it gets. There are some older roads named after some savory characters in local history, but nothing cool like Spooky Hill.

Hmmm...let's see, a wonderful bean taste. You know, I remember so many wonderful tastes from candies and cakes and pies and such growing up, I think my flavor would combine all those but be unique to the eater. I would call it "Nostalgia".

As for a crappy taste, that's too easy. I have kids. They're disgusting little people. I love them more than life nonetheless, but let's face it, they're gross. So among all of them, it would be a combo taste of "Crusty-sweaty-sock-from-under-the-bed-n-snot-laced-drama-n-grime-from-who-knows-what-that's-stuck-to-the-table-with-a-hint-of-explosive-baby-diaper-after-peas-and-prunes". I told you they were gross.

Oh and Happy Birthday to William Laud, long-ago Archbishop of Canterbury! (I don't know who he is, but I love to say "Archbishop of Canterbury", I can't help but do it with a British accent.)

LaDonna said...

Ha! Good show, Old Bean! If I do say so myself! Rob! We do accents around our house all the time! LOVE it!

LaDonna said...

Oh, and I thought you were going to say child flavored bean...lol.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Ooooh Linnette - Stink Bug, how gross is that? I carry them outside when they get in, don't even kill them there. Ugh.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Nostalgia would rock, Rob! I like that it is different for everyone. You'd better hope your favorite thing isn't fresh cut grass and a hint of skunk.

Your combo isn't going to fit on the box very well. Can you summarize it? Like the grossest thing my son ever did involved a pocketful of worms. Well, so far, there is always room for things to get worse, especially in the smell department.

rhollidaywrites said...

Yeah, it's not the catchiest of names...marketing is probably not my strongest suit. :) let's call it "Kid Funk".

Elsie Wilson said...

Stephanie, you are full of something unsavoury; you didn't spell it with a "u" for me but because that's how it's spelled on the packet, right?

Favourite flavour? Hmm, hard to imagine that it wouldn't have chocolate in there somewhere; mind you, if scent and flavour are as closely related as they seem to be, it might be the equivalent flavour to the perfume that used to be on letters i got. Soppy; sorry.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Elsie - If you are going to pick nits with my complimentary u, I must explain. Yes they are called Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, seeing as they are imported from Honeydukes in Hogsmeade, which is located in the UK. Whilst typing it, it went through my US filter that cleans out unnecessary u's, but I stuck it back in just for you.
Capish?
Mom
Mom
Mom
Aluminum
PS - Chocolate ones would rock. I don't see chocolate on the boxes of them. Don't eat the brown ones btw. They're either dirt or sausage.

Lynnell Koehler said...

My favorite would be Banana. Least favorite? Oh, that would be CHEEEEESE!

(SlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDogSlinkyDog...)

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Oh Shoot - I can't choose a random winner tonight! It's too mathy! You all win. PM me addresses (this is to all of the above comments btw!) and I'll send you a box of Every Flavour beans.
Then I want feedback!
Oh - SEND ME YOUR ADDRESSES! So I can mail them!
(Oh & Lynnell - you won a Slinky Dog! Yay!)

Elsie Wilson said...

I'm surprised you-all don't spell it Alominom, what with your letter prejudices.

Mel from Norman said...

Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't Spooky Hill inevitable since you grew up on Eerie Road in Norman? Just like learning to drive a car in a cemetery lead me to buy a house that was once a funeral home with a coffin showroom above the garage and an exit leading directly to a cemetery.

Favorite = Black Tie Mouse Cake or Chocolate Hazelnut

Instant Gag Reflex Flavor = Tuna. I still don't believe Starkist and Nine Lives are not made in the same factory.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Elsie - It is spelled just like it sounds. Aluminum A-lu-min-um. You know this.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Mel from Norman. There is no such place, I made sure before I made it up btw.
I think that your grossest flavor is definitely nice and disgusting. I wonder if it is made in the Nine Lives factory? We should quest and find out.
I'm with you on the Black Tie Mousse Cake. Dang. Olive Garden closes in fifteen minutes. Think I can make it?

Mariam Brooks said...

You asked what I do during hunting season, well, I hunt out of my bathroom window. Yes, really. I have several herniated discs and since I cannot climb a tree stand or make a long trek into the woods, I hunt from the cozy warmth of my bathroom. In the past I have killed deer while exiting the shower(sans clothing), wrapped in a towel, and a few times in just a gown. Oh how I love living in the country. I get the thrill of the "hunt" and my husband does all the heavy lifting(i.e. dragging the deer, hanging it up and butchering it.)I do help with processing and freezing. I also make a famous deer jerky, (if you don't believe me, ask any of my 14 grandchildren.) So I am thrilled that deer season is open. Today was the first day of muzzle loader season but all the deer must have gotten the memo. But there is always Monday. I enjoyed your blog. I'm Donna Kilgore's aunt and she sent me your way. Have a great "hunting" season, whatever you turn out hunting. God bless and good luck.
Mariam Brooks

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Mariam - So glad to virtually meet you. The only game I've bagged in the shower is spiders and fire ants! Welcome to The Glitter Globe, and hope you stop by again sometime!

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