Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Tripping


So tell me what you think of this brilliant idea. When an airline loses your luggage I think they need to suck it up and admit they messed up. Publicly. What I’d like to see them do is give you a t-shirt for starters – you know so you at least have pajamas or something to wear to your sister’s wedding. Now if they’re a fun airline it could say something awesome like, “I don’t normally dress like this, but JET BLUE lost my luggage!”  If they really want to make customers happy the back of the shirt could say “I’m getting frequent flier miles for every mile my luggage travels WITHOUT ME!  GO JET BLUE!”  Face it, you’d want your luggage to take the long way home.

A complimentary toiletry bag would be super nice too – deodorant, toothbrush and paste, a comb. Surely a great marketing plan could be hatched to provide samples of new products, while supplying travelers with some basics necessities for when they end up on the other coast at 3:00 a.m. with only the clothes on their back. Maybe the airlines could even have one or two meetings with the Fed Ex people and get some pointers on, “When it absolutely has to be there overnight.”  Right?

Really I’m not down on air travel at all, it rocks. Of course there are inevitable delays, storms and volcanoes do exactly what they want and we deal. Yes, I’d prefer a Stargate or being Beamed Up, but in the meantime, I’ll take flying even if my luggage goes inexplicably to Tampa when I’m flying from NYC to the west coast.

As a random Being, I enjoy the beauty of precision, and there is a whole lot of air traffic getting where it needs to go and I find that impressive. I adore Jet Blue too – that extra leg room is priceless. Even sans luggage I’d fly them on any long flight. Once, on a USAir red-eye with seats the size of kindergarten chairs, I slept physically wedged between a corporate attorney on one side (he clutched his folder of legal briefs all night) and some guy who snored on my shoulder (he had onions for dinner), on the other. The tall guy behind me literally put his legs under my seat and they were jutting out below it, so I kept trying to stealthily move my legs into my seat-mates airspace. None of us spoke a word to each other the entire trip, and when we finally landed we all avoided eye contact but I felt like I should probably go to confession or something.

There is that saying, "Life is a journey, not a destination..." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson/Aerosmith. I don't think that it necessarily applies to airline travel - face it, would you want to fly the airline that adopted that motto? However, it is pretty much the journeys that stick in my head.  Why is that?

4 comments:

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Rajdeep "call me Raj" Paulus said...

Another hilarious piece! Are you writing comedic fiction?? I just have to know!! This reminds me of my blog on my flight to AL to visit my grandma! Check 'er out wen you get a chance! We have got to get together! Are you coming to Dallas? Need a roomie?

"Storms, love and a Magic Scarf" on www.insearchofwaterfalls.com

Hey, is it okay to make a link to your blog from my story! I love your writing and want to direct my readers to your humor laden mind!! :-)

Stephanie Rae Pazicni said...

Hey Raj! Would luv to link the blogs! I read yours all the time (you make me cry as much as editing does), but missed the flight to AL one - going to check it out right now. (My novels are speculative fiction, I find it about impossible not to put humor in stuff, but my short stories are where I let my freak flag fly.)
Did you get my congrats on that FREE LATTE? Did that all come about from the last conference? I'll be in Dallas, not sure what my details will be yet though - it's my hometown! Sorta - I lived there longest. Let's at least hang out however the rooms work out, I want more of your stories. Live.

Rajdeep "call me Raj" Paulus said...

Coolio! Linked! My pleasure. And great to hear you'll be in Dally. Have you ever published any of your stories?? YES! Got the shout out about my free coffee! And for the most part, yes all this ridiculous outpouring of God's blessings has happened since the conference..who would have thunk it!?!? So crazy, you know it has to be GOD!! :)