Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Seven Life Skills Every Adult Should Have By Now, But Do You?

S. R. Karfelt, The Glitter Globe, Seven Life Skills Every Adult Should Have
The Glitter Globe/S. R. Karfelt

  1. The ability to brush your teeth neatly. This means you never need to wipe a bit of toothpaste off your tie or blouse. This feat rises to an entirely new level of near impossibility when you acquire one of the popular new sonic toothbrushes. If you can manage one of those without ending up with foam dripping off your elbows or a bathroom mirror splattered like a Pollock reject, you get a double recess today.
  2. Driving a manual transmission. Before children I had a car with a manual transmission, and well after children I hopped into one and drove down the street. My passenger said, “Wow, I’m surprised you did that so well. You haven’t driven one of these since the 90’s!” Guess who stalled and rolled the whole way back up the street? It’s like I forgot to remember that I forgot. Get it?
  3. Public Speaking. I know, good one, right? But I’m not talking about necessarily standing up in front of a massive audience and touting your weight-loss program. I’m talking about standing up in front of the school board and arguing for the soon to be cut music program, or asking questions about fracking at a Town Hall meeting. Communication is a fundamental life skill, isn’t it?
  4. Balancing Your Checkbook. And if that’s too old school, this also includes knowing how much money is in your account no matter how many times you’ve swiped that debit card this week. One thing they told you in school that is so true is that you’ve got to do the math.
  5. Dressing Yourself. This isn’t on the list to pick on anyone who relies on their partner to know their shoe or pant size. This is for those of us who stray far off the path of dressing like an adult to include camo pants, sequin Converse, and alternative hair colors (they just never get old for me). Most days I write at least eight hours in my yoga pants and pajama top, and if I were to ever make any kind of list it’d very likely be a Fashion Don’t list, but I'd sure have fun getting there.
  6. Behaving Like an Adult Since You Are One. All I can think as I write this is Epic Fail. If it's a writing day I choose my socks based on what will slide across the hardwood best. There’s a distinct possibly I’ll be expelled from Snapchat at some point. And I still take recess because sometimes I just need a break from hanging with my imaginary friends all day. I do not, however, take snow days because if I was away from them for an entire day, I'd miss them too much, so you can decide which side of the fence that falls on.
  7. Not Taking Criticism Personally. Out of the seven life skills I’ve listed here this is the only one that I think I’m actually pretty good at. Frankly I think that snide remarks, low-blows, and gossip in general says way more about the person spouting it than it can possibly say about the one it’s being directed at. Seriously. Watch the faces of those gossiping. See the expressions of mean-spirited glee. It’s cruel and it’s ugly and it’s oh-so-popular right now. There’s an entire pop-culture thriving on nit-picking other people. I say if you feel right in your own heart, let the trolls just suck it.

This blog was inspired by Carolyn, who tagged me in a post online to tell seven
Seven Life Skills Every Adult Should Have by Now, S. R. Karfelt
S. R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe
random things about myself. I simply morphed it into six life skills I pretty much stink at. In order to appease the math I’ll add a random fact about myself. Although I don’t watch television, I do go to the movies often. But I find that long action sequences make me fall asleep. When the plot stops, and the bombs and guns start going off and the car chase drags on and on, I can fall asleep like three-two-one-zzzzz. Does anyone else have that problem?

Now how about you tell me what life skills you think every adult should have? Whether you have it or not, well, that’s up to you to share if you like. 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

The Seven Year Niche

writing series, KAHTAR, Warrior of the Ages, Karfelt, Glitter
The Glitter Globe/S. R. Karfelt

Have you ever had an obsession?

Something that launches you out of bed in the morning and refuses to let you sleep at night?

I hope so, but in case you haven’t I’m going to share mine.

A Covenant Keeper Novel, KAHTAR Warrior of the Ages, Karfelt
KAHTAR Warrior of the Ages by S. R. Karfelt

The Warrior of the Ages has been transformed...

A new look...
A new brand...
The same awesome hero.

​Reintroducing KAHTAR the Warrior of the Ages.


I mean right? On a rare day that involved crunching numbers I realized I’ve been writing The Covenant Keeper Novels for seven years. And now that you can see Kahtar there’s probably no need to explain further.

Seven years is a long while to have a story bouncing around inside your head. But it takes time to download an entire world onto the page. It takes even longer to hunker down and make that story reader worthy. And years of soldiering are required to get those books into the right hands.

As you can see it’s worth it. Right? Sigh. I’m in for another seven or as long as Kahtar wants me.

In honor of Kahtar’s reintroduction into the world, I’m celebrating. And I don’t just mean plastering his picture all over my computers, tablets, and phone. When I host a party there are always loot bags—the muse insists. So check out my Rafflecopter giveaway, and be sure to scroll through all the prizes, there are several!

Rafflecopter is the fairest way to distribute loot on the internet. Aren’t the prizes amazing? 

The Covenant Keeper Novels, Karfelt, Kahtar, The Glitter Globe
S. R. Karfelt
And you don’t have to do everything on the list to be entered! It’s easy breezy beautiful. Do I know how to throw a party or what? I mean it’s in Kahtar’s honor, it had to be big.

Over the years I've had a few obsessions, but they weren't all as big as Kahtar. How about you? This is the part where you tell me about your obsessions, especially if you've been at them beyond all reason. If you’d rather not talk about your freaky-deaky obsession publicly, you can just tell me what you think of mine. I'm more than willing to talk about Kahtar some more. Any questions about the Warrior of the Ages?

Saturday, January 10, 2015

I am Writer

The Glitter Globe Muse Writer Karfelt
S. R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe
All Rights Reserved

I am the muse.
I am resistance.
I embody success.
I embody failure.

My writing will never be perfect.
My story will be written, in fact it is, everyday. Just not today. Definitely tomorrow.
I am persistence. I am impatience.

When do you want to write the best novel of your career? NOW!
When do you want it published? NOW!
Who’s going to read it? EVERYONE! NOW!

My writing is trite.
My writing is unique.

I’ll persevere. Unless I don’t.
I’ll give up. Unless I won’t.

I serve words when I cook.
I vacuum them when I clean.
I steal them when I look.
I torture and tame them in my book.

I whisper when I shout.
Laugh when I cry.
Run when I sleep.
Wake up to die.

Cause someone’s gonna. Die.
Don’t look at me, I’m just the scribe.

It’s about the story you see.
Yours. Mine. And Ours.
We all have one.
Or two. Or none we want to share.

It’s the sum of all parts.
The bottom line.
The beginning and the middle.
The end of the line.

It’s what I do.
And so do you.
Using A through Z.
It’s how we see.

I am writer. May I have this dance?

May I?

May I have this dance with you?

This post was originally published 9-1-13, but never here on The Glitter Globe and I'm really feeling this today and needed to fling these words into the Glitterverse to see if you can feel them. 

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Driving Myself to Drink

The Glitter Globe S. R. Karfelt
Copyright by Abbey Miklitsch and her driving hedgehog, Zebra

Aren’t you glad the holidays are over? All that pressure, all the excess, all the ribbons and wrappings are done with. Now we can face a couple months of empty days full of nothing but icy cold and blowing snow.

Not to mention the Pièce de résistance liquid penance for all sinners—the green smoothie.

Which if you’ve been a bad boy like I’ve been a bad girl you need to start consuming by the tanker truck full.

Would you believe my enthusiasm for empty days is genuine? Do you feel like that too? Nothing soothes an introvert’s heart like a completely blank January calendar. Can you give me a Mel Gibson FREEDOM roar? (Why does mine always sound like Sméagol?)

If we could just wrap the cray-zay of last year into a titanium capsule and bury it beneath Mesozoic layers of guano in the bat cave—where hopefully it won’t leak into this year—our quiet freedom might last. Pretend. Remember the power of positive thinking?

Huge amounts of creative energy can be produced from a quiet zone. That’s why I like to work in a cave. My laptop is balanced on a stalagmite. The green smoothie IV is hanging from a stalactite. My body has melded into the Stairmaster, like some sort of Wes Craven Centaur-thing. All the working out and writing I’m doing is generating a force field against interruption.

Federation Starfleet Force Field Level Ten and Holding.

(Maybe everyone is just afraid to interrupt when I’m working (and talking) like this? The cave is a metaphor (maybe). Just in case someone thinks I literally work in a cave (I do) and wonders how the WiFi works (it’s wired) or if they can visit (No. See above force field rating.) Of course if you’re a logical literalist, what are you doing in The Glitter Globe? Lost? You need to skedaddle because this cray be contagious. (Too late))

Is it just me or do you sense some cray leakage from the titanium capsule? 

Next year let’s bury it deeper than Mesozoic. Cenozoic? Anyone else on the lam? Anyone else glad to have some quiet time and hoping it lasts? And of equal importance, has anyone else been driven to drink the green smoothie based almost entirely on the crack called petit fours, pedaled by the Swiss Colony