Sunday, December 9, 2012

Must Be Santa

Another $25 Barnes & Nobles Gift Card Giveaway!

 
 
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt

 

Is the quest to keep things simple for the holidays, Grinchy?  Because I was going for meaningful. I went to a local glass studio and made blown glass ornaments. (With my own two hands and hot air.)  They’re really beautiful, fun to make, and I thought being handmade would keep in the spirit of the season. What I hadn’t thought about, what slipped to the back of The Glitter Globe, was the fact that I have to mail this stuff to far off lands. Maybe next year I’ll opt for something really simple to wrap and mail, like bowling balls.
 
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt

This morning I tossed on my running clothes and thought, I’ll just wrap this stuff and get it ready to mail first. Then I’ll run. Six hours later everything is wrapped, packaged, and ready for transportation to the post office. Thanks to the Epic Slinky Dog giveaway, I go there quite often. I hand the post master the familiar puffy envelopes, with that telltale Epic Slinky Dog rattle, and he weighs them and asks the same question, “Any liquids, perishables, or flammables?”  And I answer, “Only inasmuch as the expected methane emissions of your average Epic Slinky Dog during transport.”  Kidding, the USPS doesn’t joke around. I say, “Fragile”. Then he slams the big red FRAGILE stamp down on ESD with a bam, and Slinky is on his way. Tomorrow I expect to pretty much spend the day with the postmaster, filling out customs forms. Imagine his face when I drag this lot in. I have a consolation prize for him in my purse. Yes, his very own Epic Slinky Dog. Don’t you think everyone at the post office needs one this time of year?
 
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
 
How are your brilliant holiday plans working out?  ‘Iceland’ has been inundated with a rash of those slightly disturbing glorious sunny days. It’s December, there’s usually snow. I feel almost guilty basking in perfect jogging days, when the wonky weather changes have wrought so much damage. Jogging to my latest favorite running song (“Kill Your Heroes” by AWOLNATION) a text interrupted me. How inconvenient. Had to close my Facebook app (right in the middle of an Instant Message conversation) to read the text. It was from BFF and read…
“Christmas songs that should never have been – Bob Dylan singing “Must Be Santa” accompanied by an accordion. Yes, really!...”
I resisted the urge to open iTunes right then and there. I was jogging, and it’s very difficult to punch in your password properly when you’re running. So I texted back…
            “Lol Timnin”
Which we all know means I’m laughing out loud, while texting and running. BFF is used to such responses. Of course I hit YouTube to check out said video and this is what I found:  Must Be Santa by Bob Dylan
It made me laugh, and I appreciate that. Thank you Mr. Dylan (or Sir or Knight or whatever it is). What do you think about the accordion accompanied song?  And of all the holiday songs that are out there right now, which ones do you think should have NEVER been?  And now I’m going to go run, at last. Just as soon as I get this blog posted.
***
This is the part about the fun and games and giveaways. If you leave a comment (and “Join this Site”) you’re eligible for your very own Epic Slinky Dog/giveaways. I’m planning to give away at least two ESD on this post. Since it is Christmas, I’ll also be keeping in the spirit of the season by giving away another $25 gift card to Barnes & Noble. After this post hits 25 comments (spam doesn’t count), I’ll randomly pick one winner from the comment section for the gift card. Be sure to check back to see if you’ve won. (If I can’t locate a winner within 48 hours, I will choose another.) 
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt


30 comments:

DM Kilgore said...

1. Blown glass ornaments? That you made yourself? Coolest Christmas gift idea EVER! Wow!

2. I prefer Jacob Dylan.

3. That song (Bob/Accordion) Should NOT exist, I concur.

That said, a song that should have never been in my opinion is "Walking 'round In Women's Underwear".

http://youtu.be/2kJ8kE5Kf3g

Winter Wonderland was one of my favorites. Now, every time I hear it I find myself singing, "Lacey things..." (face-palm)

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

(I didn't make all of them, I only have so much hot air. Some I paid others to make. A funer gift is to TAKE people to make one for themselves. Way fun.)

Um, the song WRIWU. Oh, I don't know. I doubt anything will erase it from my memory now (and yes I watched the whole thing, twice). Maybe I'd better go watch Bob on the accordion again. "Laaaater onnnn, iffff we wanna, we can dresss like Madonnaaa". (I have those pumps btw, the ones from the chorus - and that dude looks freakily like someone who works at my supermarket.)

Jeff LaFerney said...

The absolute worst Christmas song ever written and produced and sung (by no less that 22 additional artists) is Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" in which he plays both an acoustic guitar and a Puerto Rican cuatro (probably both at the same time because he has to pay no attention to the lyrics). Let me give you a run-down of the lyrics in this three-minute song: Feliz Navidad, 21 X's; Prospero Año y Felicidad, 7 x's; I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas, 18 x's; from the bottom of my heart, 6 x's. That's some awesome writing to go along with some stellar singing skills. Do you realize that David Hasselhoff and Jon Secada IMPROVED this song when they produced it? Celine Dion, the ska-punk band Voodoo Glow Skulls, 1910 Fruitgum Company, the disco group Boney M, and Dora the Explorer (do you think anyone believes that rhymes, by the way) also sang it. My gosh, I had to listen to it to count the repetition, and it gave me a headache. Maybe the Voodoo Glow Skulls do it better, but why oh why oh why do people enjoy this song? And why is it always playing every time I go shopping? There couldn't possibly be a worse song than this one.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Hah! Let's chat conspiracy theories, Jeff. Though I know that I will be checking out Voodoo Glow Skulls rendition of this.

Jeff LaFerney said...

Oh, wow. I change my vote. The Voodoo Glow Skulls have the worst Christmas song ever! The worst lyrics ever written and the worst singing group singing it.

LaDonna said...

The worst Christmas song ever...Domenick the Donkey. I warn you it is horrible and it gets stuck in your head like a satanic back masking evil thing and won't go away. Listen at your peril.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vUZXdueWUGk

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Jeff - Watched it. Hahaha! So would have been in the mosh pit. I'd be their groupie if they'd let me wear the mascot costume.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

LaDonna - Could. Not. Do. It. Tried. Was this one of many songs that came out the week after Rudolph maybe? Is there a Jingle the Jellyfish? Elfen the Elk? Know what? I think I could hear the darkness in it. Would go drink some holy water, 'cept then I couldn't go be mascot for the Voodoo Glow Skulls. After, right after.

Alex Moore said...

Love the slinky dog! So fun! Good idea, by the way on the blown glass ornaments! Great Christmas stocking stuffer for the family! :)My favorite Christmas song is Let it Snow!

brian said...

you need to listen to porky pig sing blue chirstmas,

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Am not man enough, Brian. I tried. It's on YouTube.
Yesterday, as I wrapped gifts for six hours, I went through every Christmas station Pandora offers, and didn't find a single one that I liked enough to stick with it for long. At least all of you gave me reason to to appreciate pretty much all of those stations.

Phil Scott said...

I completely abhor any rendition of 12 days of Christmas, especially Jeff Foxworthy's 12 redneck days. However I laugh each time I hear Clark Griswald sing, I could watch 'Family Vacation' endlessly, by far my favorite holiday movie.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Alex - Know what? I like "Let it Snow" too, though I do not care for snow. If it didn't snow on the road, I could be persuaded to change my mind. :)

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Phil - On the first day of Christmas my Gnu luv gave to meee, chee-ssssyyy mac-a-ron-iiii. Makes me want to write my own version.
Don't you wish you lived in a time when there were merely 12 days of Christmas?
Christmas Vacation is my all time favorite holiday movie too. Every time Catherine revved up the microwave...sorry, sorry, I quote it all year.

Phil Scott said...

My favorite single line is when he walks outside to find Eddie emptying the RV in the gutter "sh**er's full" cracks me up every time. I actually love Christmas I don't mind the festive aspect just hate the commercial aspect

Elsie Wilson said...

We used to have about a half dozen or so glass ornaments that the kids blew Love CMOG; miss going there. Excellent choice of gifts ~ i'm certain you have enough hot air.

Christmas songs which should not be? Any (absolutely ANY) version of Little Drummer Boy.

Jill said...

My dad ran across my old N'syn Christmas CD. Anything that they sing...Christmas or not should be banned

Lydia Harpe said...

That's so cool that you got to make your own ornaments! I used to go to this place in Michigan called Greenwich Village when I was little and watch these guys blow glass and stuff there. Very cool.

By the way, my email is lharpe0761@mail.kvcc.edu if I happen to win! Happy Holidays!

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Elsie, Um, thanks?

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Jill,
:)
Not even for nostalgia?

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Lydia Harpe - Thanks for making contact easy!

Linnette R Mullin said...

Hi, Steph! Fun post! What happened to Grinchy? Did he move on to visit someone else? Beautiful packages! You're one busy Icelander! A slinky-dog to the postman just might perk up his or her day with as busy as they are this time of year. I say, why not?

What am I doing? I'm trying to regain some strength as I wash clothes and do laundry and try to get ready for an unconventional Christmas. Moving. Instead of saying, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can," I'll be saying, "God give me strength, God give me strength, God give me strength..." But, hey! At least it ends with Mexican for Christmas dinner at Mom and Dad's. :D

scott wilcox said...

Okay I have not heard of the slinky dog. Am I totally out of the loop? I had to sign up for the newsletter and will be searching your blog to see if I can get the latest 411. Our postmasters here are not very friendly this time of the year either. We have a place locally that you can make handblown items/ornaments etc. I have never been as I am not all that talented but hear it is quite fun. As far as a Christmas song that never should have been made? After listening to Christmas music non-stop since Thanksgiving (the boyfriend) at this point I want to say not any should have ever been made. Except Silent Night, that one is beautiful. Good luck with the postmaster tomorrow!

Happy Holidays and enjoy the weather,
Marlena
charmedpoms@yahoo.com

Kelsey-plain and simple said...

Waaaait a second...accordion Christmas? No thank you.
I agree with my boss, who this weekend said "You know those songs you can't get out of your head? Well I heard "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Clause"...and it got stuck in my head. That is the worst Christmas song ever."

So true. I hate that song.

Accordion. I'll have to suck it up and check it out. We'll see how that goes.

Donna Ipp said...

Grandma got run over by a reindeer... I cringe everytime I hear it.

jenn said...

the christmas shoe song is the worst makes me want to cry when i hear it. who wants to cry for christmas

rhollidaywrites said...

Hmmm...so many horrid Christmas songs to choose from... So, I'll offer two- didn't see either in the comments- because I find them equally nauseating for different reasons.

"Last Christmas" by Wham. Pls, icepick me in the ear. The video only makes it worse because you can see George Michael's mane of blonde-tipped hair.

"Wonderful Christmas Time" by Paul McCartney. I literally feel crazy and angry when I hear this song. To phrase it a different way, this is my velvet. I'm sure Kelsey knows how horrible I find this song now. It's just bad on every level. I'm certain they could use this at Gitmo in lieu of water boarding and achieve amazing results. I mean McCartney has more money than the royal family- I think he made this as a parody of a song, it just simply couldn't have been done with any other intent, much less to make a popular single that would sell.

I will now fill my head with something else because McCartney won't shut his mocking pie hole with that song now... ;)

Lauren said...

Don't worry Stephanie, I have exactly nothing to give anyone so far this year. I have absolutely nothing in the bank account to cover such expenses. So you're WAY ahead of me.

Stephanie Pazicni Karfelt said...

Okay folks, we have winners! Yay! Two Epic Slinky Dogs go to Lydia Harpe and Scott Wilcox/Marlena? - I've sent you both emails. You have 48 hours to reply, or I'll draw new names.
The Barnes & Noble gift card - of course - went to Elsie - who sadly lives on a continent without Barnes & Noble *insert moment of silence here, so sad*
So I'm working that out for Elsie, and in the meantime, and in keeping with the holiday spirit, I drew a second name to give the Barnes & Noble card to. Lauren? Do you live in the continental United States? I hope so, because you won! Yay! Any questions, contact me via theglitterglobe@gmail.com

Elsie Wilson said...

Hey, thanks.

I might be changing my vote, though, on rotten songs. Mind you, "Little Drummer Boy" is still awful, but this Mr. Blobby special (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFyQ-8JdaqY) might give it a run for the money. Check it out.