Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Emergency Unicorn


Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
They come under many guises. The eleventh hour when your child wanders out of bed for a glass of water, and mentions his science project is due in the morning. Who dashes out to the 24-hour superstore for Styrofoam balls and planet colored paint? The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who. Your Father-in-law is visiting. He absolutely cannot function without Maxwell House coffee. Dear Hubby is working late and had asked you yesterday to please, please get some coffee for his Dad since you were going for groceries. You remembered to pick up pre-in-law binge eating ice-cream, but you forgot the coffee. Who now rushes out to the all night supermarket for that can of Maxwell House coffee?  The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who. (Though that is the last time you ever do it, because you save the empty can after that, and when he comes to visit you just pour whatever coffee you use into the blue can, and put it by the coffee pot for him. So ha. It works beautifully until your son rats you out ten years in.)

 
Emergency Unicorn hunting happens at work too. There are customers in, and your boss is schmoozing for the big contract. She runs her pantyhose. Who sneaks out to Macy’s for the Control-Top, Sheer Toe, Opaque, Support, Queen-Size Fishnet Stockings?  The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who. In charge of office supplies?  All the mechanical pencils are for size 0.5mm lead, but all the refills are size 0.7mm. Who gets to Staples only to find out they close at 7:00 p.m.?  The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who. So who hits Staples on-line and orders a year’s worth of copy paper just so she spent enough and can have that lead delivered overnight for tomorrow morning?  You got it. The Emergency Unicorn hunter is good at what she does.
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
A loved one in the hospital is forced to eat hospital food for weeks. After mentioning how he’s been dreaming about chicken pot pies at night, who races to the drive-by chicken joint ten minutes before it closes, and pleads for someone to make just one more chicken pot pie?  Yes, tonight, please – I’ll trade you some free movie passes?  The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who. (And sadly she’s not above bribery at times.)  Unfortunately Emergency Unicorns often involve shopping, but not always. Your son is in his room, we think. There is an obscene pile of Legos in his room and a voice comes from under them, “Mom?  I need another piece that looks like this one.”  A little arm pops out of the pile. It is clutching the smallest Lego piece ever made. Who knows there is another bit just like that one, in the mudroom, inside Dad’s shoe?  The Emergency Unicorn Hunter that’s who. Your daughter is growing into a fine Emergency Unicorn hunter herself. “Mom, when I was in Indian Guides I had a vest with feathers on it. I need one of those blue feathers right now.”  It’s been over ten years and at least three moves since Indian Guides. Who knows exactly where that old leather vest is?  The Emergency Unicorn Hunter that’s who.
Photo Credit:  Stephanie Karfelt
It was a bit of a thrill to be sent questing after an actual unicorn recently. Have you seen people greeting loved ones at airports with balloons or flowers?  It was a last minute decision that our loved one needed to be met with a large stuffed unicorn. In the middle of my work day, after four hours of staring at the blinking cursor, I accepted the quest and dashed away. Scored the unicorn and arrived at the airport on time. Oddly enough it turned out to be one of those days where you run into everyone you know. You know people from church, your other job, and engineering conferences?  And guess who got to stand in public, faking normalcy and holding that emergency unicorn?  The Emergency Unicorn hunter that’s who.

 
Are you an Emergency Unicorn hunter?  I know I’m not the only one, and I know people who excel at it. How about sharing one of your stories with me?  Usually I share Epic Slinky Dogs based on random drawings and blog followers. How about if we change it up today?  Share your most pathetic or humorous Emergency Unicorn hunt with me. If it is particularly touching, I’ll send a Slinky Dog your way. At least until I finish off this open box of them.

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Please follow my blog, if you haven’t already. Right over there ---à where it says “Join this site” (or Networked Blogs). And be sure to leave a comment below, for a chance at your very own Slinky Dog! Remember to check back to see if you’ve won, I will post winners here, and attempt to locate you. If I can’t contact you, or don’t hear back within a week, I will pick another name.


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