Monday, October 24, 2011

Freaked Out


In the great scheme of things are you, personally, aware of any purpose for spiders?  I know, I know, all God’s creatures – or are they?  I have my suspicions. Perhaps their purpose is simply a cosmic stress test?  You know, the instant heart rate acceleration that comes from their mere presence or from chasing them with a shoe?  Are they here simply to entertain cats?  Perhaps they're part of a cosmic joke gone awry, because face it, it is a bit amusing to watch someone walk into a web.
I have nothing against insects per se, quite the contrary, I have a thing for them. It’s the whole metamorphosis that I find fascinating. The caterpillar that drops his exoskeleton, forming a chrysalis to become a butterfly. Isn’t that amazing?  Larvae that morphs into a shimmery beetle. Beetles come in all the amazing colors of the rainbow, like art. Supposedly there are more types of beetles on earth than there are varieties of plants. Sleep on that. I visited an Insectarium once, think aquarium for bugs. I even ate a chocolate chirp cookie while I was there. Hey it was on my bucket list. #37 – Really freak hubby out. Check.

Spiders, however, are not insects. They are arachnids. Scientifically this means that they make a very satisfying crunching sound when stomped on. Still they cannot be trusted – they don’t even morph AND they have fur AND I’m allergic to them. AND they bite you way more than you might ever realize if you aren’t allergic to them. I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings, but those mosquito bites you get in the dead of winter?  Not. Why am I sharing this?  Is it simply because of their latest assassination attempt?  Partly, but I’m a proactive person. I’m starting a grassroots movement right here, hoping to institute a recall. Please sign my petition electronically, below.
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