Monday, April 15, 2019

My Badass Nerdy Husband and The Story I'm Not Allowed to Tell




"The doctor said I was lucky I survived," my husband said, looking guilty.

"Did you tell him?" I asked. "Did you tell him that after you rolled the four-wheeler on yourself and winched it to a tree to upright it, that you then rode it for another two hours?"

"No," he admitted, "I just couldn't."

"Well, I can," I said. "I'm going to blog about it."

"You'd better not," he said.

"Too bad. I had to be the one to worry all that night because you didn't want to leave the mountains and go to the ER. I had to be the one to deal when you finally agreed to go to the hospital the next day, and the ER nurse admitted you so fast that they had to run vitals in the hallway. I had to be the one who stayed behind while they took you to a trauma hospital by ambulance."

"Yeah."

"If you're lucky, I won't mention the part where right after your rollover, you wanted to have sex."

Obviously he's not lucky, because I'm telling. And no, he didn't get lucky. Well, yes, he got very lucky because even though he broke ribs one and two (which are right over the vascular system and apparently could have killed him), and broke his sternum, and bruised up a lung, he basically walked away. But he didn't get lucky-lucky, which is again lucky, because getting frisky might have killed him. 

Then I'd have had to live with that, although it probably would have made me super-popular among the cruise-ship and widower crowd. People would say, that chick sexed her husband to death, but I want no part of that. I kind of want to keep him and if I'm going to get a badass reputation, it's going to be on my terms. 

Watch out. That chick writes what she wants.

Sorry, not sorry, hubby. Maybe fear of public ridicule will work because my warnings for the past thirty-five years haven't done a darn thing. We have this on-going argument where he tells me that it is normal to break bones now and then (without any underlying condition) and I tell him he knows nothing about normal. Not that I do, but I read a lot.

I love my husband, even though he makes me nuts.


The pain hit him eventually. For a good while he could hardly move. I have to assume that right after the accident he was rolling on some sort of adrenaline rush. But when I mentioned cancelling his upcoming wilderness vacation, he insisted he could do it. 

     "You're going to be able to pack-up and haul a boat all the way to the middle of Nowhere, Canada? You're going to be able to portage all your fishing stuff and two weeks worth of food across two rivers and over a dam? You can't walk upright OR sneeze."

     "I've got a couple weeks to heal."

One thing you learn from being married forever is that all arguments are old arguments. You know exactly what you'll say, and exactly what your spouse will say, ad infinitum because you've had these same arguments so many times they're like ear-worm songs. It's exhausting, not to mention annoying, to argue in rounds for decades. 

     You didn't break down the recycling boxes,
     You didn't break down the recycling boxes,
     You didn't break down the recycling boxes,
     
     Do you think Jesus does it? Jesus does it? Jesus does it?

     I didn't have time, you know that dear,
     I didn't have time, you know that dear,
     I didn't have time, you know that dear,

     Get off my rear, get off my rear, get off my rear...

So I knew he'd get himself to Nowhere, Canada for his wilderness adventure. I went all Florence Nightingale and went too and helped. Some. Okay, a little. To be fair my husband doesn't just balls out go wild and crazy about everything—he's usually smart about it. He put his boat on a remote control so he could put it in the water and it'd drive itself to the dock and wait for him to park the trailer. 


That's because of the nerdy part of the badass husband. 


Personally I like hubby's nerdiness over his
badassery. It's far less scary. It's taken me months to write this story. I wanted to make sure he didn't sneeze and die or something. Because then it wouldn't be funny in the least, even though then I could say I TOLD YOU SO. Which I would say, and I am saying, and also, I hate ATV's. Jeeps are better, so long as you keep them upright. 










Tuesday, December 18, 2018

The Best Gift You Can Give—And it's FREE

writing, karfelt, communication, christmas, joy
S.R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe




"I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery." ~Christmas Vacation Quote


It's true. The pressure for Christmas JOY and perfection has permeated society to our mitochondria. My Saturday book-signings this time of year have backed up my Christmas misery theory. 

December Saturdays are frantic shopping days for those of us exhausted from a long workweek. People want to get in and out of stores as fast as possible because they have a list of things to do. It surprised me how many shoppers told me they're exhausted, tired, can't keep up, don't even read anymore because they're too tired to do the things they used to love.

At book-signings I bring good chocolate and a pile of bookmarks. Some are for my books, but I bring some from my travels too. Ancient Egyptian scenes painted on papyrus that I got in Egypt and some from museums in Greece and Amsterdam are pretty popular.

But I didn't give any of them to the tired shoppers. They didn't want free stuff. They didn't even want chocolate. They wanted someone to listen, someone to hear their stress, someone to pay attention. 


I gave them my time and listened. 



It's not a big thing, but it's a bit of everyday magic. What I've found is that the quiet kindness is worth it. I don't offer unsolicited advice. I listen. I don't pretend to hear while thinking about something clever to say either. 

In our crazy busy lives I think it's something people need. We all want to be heard. Don't get me wrong. I'm not anxious to sit next to someone on a plane and hear their life story word vomit. I'm simply talking about communication. When someone is talking, take a moment to hear them.

As a friend often says, "Put your listening ears on."


Maybe communication is the key. If I take the time and energy to hear someone, we've made some type of connection. It's not a lasting friendship. I'll likely never see them again. But for a brief moment I saw and heard someone even if it's a stranger at a roadside stop, a checkout line, or at a book-signing. 

All those little communications add up to a satisfying life. It's time well spent. 

It's the secret to my happiness, anyway.

Sometimes I go to a Benedictine Monastery. There's one here in The Shire. They have signs in their gift shop that say...


"The greatest gift you can give someone is to listen."


I have found it to be true. Listening is my superpower. I can listen and I do it all the time. Except when my husband's talking about fishing or archery. I just drift right off into what Kahtar and Beth are doing now. Should I decide to continue that story I'm always ready.

For years I thought it's kind of great to be a writer and have a face that people want to talk to. But I've come to realize that the real reason people tell me things is only because I listen. 

Listening isn't all that easy. It can be downright exhausting. 

When I'm listening I sometimes feel what the other person is saying and feeling. Sometimes it's sad. Sometimes it's wonderful.

Occasionally I'll return from a long day of listening and lay down on the floor in absolute quiet to recharge. But just as often it invigorates me and makes me more patient with impatience, like grouchy DMV employees or rude drivers. Everyone has their reasons. Most people are doing the best they can. 

At my book-signing this past weekend a woman went past me pushing her walker in front of her. She had two Christmas pillows perched on it as she headed for the checkout area. They had chickadees on them in snow scenes. That's the kind of stuff that bookstores sell now. Not to mention LEGOS, games, chai tea, and epic journals. But I digress.

One of the pillows slipped off her walker and I picked it up for her. She proceeded to launch into a story of how her mother trained chickadees to eat out of not just her hand, but all the kids too. It was a great story. I filed it away in my writer brain for future use. 

Listening has extra benefits for writers. Priceless material. 

Sometimes people tell me awful things. Like about the time someone hurt them. Sometimes it's something intensely private and they will add, "I don't know why I'm telling you this."

Well, I know why. It's because I listen. 

Occasionally someone will tell me what a very nice person I am
after I've been listening to them. It makes me feel like a fraud. In some ways I'm every story I write. A warrior, an assassin, a storyteller, and a bitch witch. I'm not nice. Ask my husband. Ask any telemarketer who has the misfortune to actually get me on the phone. (I so do not listen to them. I'm no saint.) I can make them cry and I'm not proud of that. It's only that I'm sometimes kind, and I have a super power. I listen. 

More people should try it. In this wonderful world where so many people are talking all at the same time, hardly anyone is listening. If you've always wanted to do some magic, why not give it a try?







Wednesday, November 28, 2018

Little Joyful Things—These are a Few of My Favorite Things




Little things in life can give great joy. Some are free. Some have moderate cost. All seem hidden, unnoticed, and under-appreciated. This is a list of some of my favorite moderately-priced things this year. If they make me happy, maybe they'll work for you too.


Clothes and Accessories


A cute dress WITH POCKETS. My extra large phone fits in these pockets. They're not the shallow kind. If you don't have time to quest for a dress with pockets, because it is a bit of a Holy Grail thing, Amazon has them in many colors, patterns, and sleeve lengths. This one has over 2,000 four-star-plus reviews.

These are knee-high boots that can deal with my super-strong Thor calves. They're a thing, even if no one has informed the TSA and they ALWAYS pause everything to pat down my calves. 

They're real.


Everyone's a critic.

You can find all types of groovy boots at Famous Footwear right now. These are Bare Traps. If they're out of your size, they'll send them to your house. This sounds like a commercial. It's not. I just get excited when I find obscure things that work, like a dress with pockets or boots that come in my size.



Writerly Delights




Another delight is a lined-embossed-dragon journal. 

It has silver gilt pages.

Barnes and Noble has this particular one. They carry a great selection of unique journals. If you don't have a store near you, they're available at Barnes and Noble online





When I visited Stonehenge, I discovered this little artist's journal embossed with a trilithon, that's the two vertical stones supporting a lintel that make up those impressive stone doorways at Stonehenge. I like writing in journals from places I've been, BUT you don't have to go there to get one. 

English Heritage has an online gift shop. You can order all sorts of lovely things from jams, biscuits, humbugs, and knights in armor, to jewelry made from the same stone quarry as the stones at Stonehenge. Check it out! It's a great place to pick up some special holiday gifts.


Plain Old Wonderful 



Aloe-infused socks. Oh, baby. These things will make you happy gasp when you slide them on. If you don't think socks make a good gift, you haven't gotten these. They're silkier than silk and a treat to lounge in. They come in many colors and some styles are extra-warm bulky socks with an aloe-infused lining. I found the latter at Famous Footwear. But you can get these socks at Bed Bath and Beyond, TJ Maxx, or Kohls. Wash them in a lingerie bag for a longer shelf life.

EO Soothing lavender hand soap. If you follow my Instagram you
probably know I can be obsessive about lavender. But it has to smell like lavender—the kind they have on the Greek Island of Alonissos in June to be precise. Not that I'm picky. In this case it works for you though. 

This stuff is amazing. A guest mocked me as he washed his hands, "Will I be soothed? Hahaha—uh—wait—this stuff smells great—uh, I think I actually am soothed. Where'd you get this?" TJMaxx. And it's amazeballs.


Lip balm is one of those things that I buy several of and then search frantically for that one that really works. Young Living Lavender Lip Balm is infused with essential oil and goes on smooth and heavenly. It's not just for the ladies either. I've seen big burly guys using it too. It's just that good. 

I discovered this at Namaste a local spa here in the shire. If you google Young Living Essential Oils, you can probably find a distributor anywhere in your section of Middle Earth.


Picture frames almost always disappoint me. I don't want to fool around with them. Unfortunately I have three seconds of patience
between inserting the photo and putting the picture on display. Having to trim a photo or mess with matting and puzzle out how to open the back of a frame and then keep the photo from sliding around inside, and I've already lost interest in the whole thing. 

That's why I love these magnetic acrylic block frames. You pop them open, slap the photo down, and bam. You're done. They're standing frames, and they look great in any decor. They're a bit pricey for cheap-seats me, but they're excellent gifts. This is what you're getting if I'm giving you a gift. You'll love it. 

Sometimes TJMaxx has them. Sometimes Kohls, Walmart, Crate and Barrel, or Amazon. Shop around for the best price.



A wireless mouse is a marvelous invention. It's a game changer. I never have to slam my mouse wires shut in my desk again. Likely I'm late to this party and you know this. Feel free to tell me about it and ask where I've been the last decade. Writing by the way. In my hermit writer cave.

Now if only my phone charger cord didn't get rolled over by my desk chair regularly—although there are now magnetic chargers. Maybe that will be on my next favorite things list.


You'll laugh but I think that Sonicare toothbrushes are the best invention. In  Bitch Witch Sarah Archer states that if her house were on fire that's what she'd grab. Well. I was writing what I know there. I love the hell out of mine. It feels like you've been to the hygienist to have your teeth cleaned every day. 

The one I have now I got from the dentist's office. You can find them everywhere.


Booky Things


The Anne Frank House in Amsterdam has an online gift shop. You can get a replica of the diary Anne wrote her story in while her family hid from the Nazi's in the attic of a jam factory. It's supercool to get that package delivered from Amsterdam. I went there but still ordered it because I try to do that when I buy books. That extra weight in luggage is killer. 


You might be interested to know that her book was re-released with information that had been edited out of the original version. At the time The Diary of a Young Girl was released, her father and publisher didn't think it was appropriate to include some things, like details about her mother, Peter, and her own budding sexuality. 

The book is worth a reread. There are more pages now and now more than ever the book underscores what a clever, brilliant young woman Anne was becoming. 

Another favorite thing is books signed by the authors. Autographed books are still a big thing to me. Did you know that on Black Friday that Barnes and Noble offers a large selection of popular and bestselling autographed books? 

Last year I had a book signing that day and went a bit berserk buying Christmas gifts signed by favorite present day authors. I scored a copy of The Hate U Give, The Kite Runner, and the newest John Grisham book. I couldn't resist shopping in my favorite "one for you one for me" fashion and I still have room on my autographed shelf for this year.

Make sure you get there early because sometimes there's only one of the most popular authors, and us canny reader writers are waiting at the door at dawn. 


Souvenirs


Now we get to the excess. When I travel I tend to come
home with everything from Rosetta Stone socks from the British Museum to hand-painted papyrus/vintage photos from Egypt, to a hefty pile of blank journals from the Acropolis Museum in Athens. It's fun to remember, and your sandals from Greece will remind you of your trip for a long time. 

This year I may have gotten carried away. I have a small pile of tiny treasures from my travels leftover. 
Be sure to sign up for my monthly newsletter if you'd like a chance to win some of my souvenir loot. You can sign up here or from my author website

Details will be coming as soon as I heal up from a slight medical problem entailing another one of my favorite things—antibiotics when you really need them. 

I think antibiotics need a new marketing tag line—something like, ANTIBIOTICS, BETTER THAN DEATH, BARELY, BUT STILL! Or maybe, ANTIBIOTICS, THE SIDE EFFECTS ARE WORSE THAN YOUR ILLNESS, BUT YOU GET TO LIVE! (PROBABLY.)

None of my favorite things here are expensive. Not even my gut-devouring, super-cheap $10 co-pay antibiotics. These things all make great gifts, except the meds, for all occasions. Your favorite things should probably be in the running too. Leave a comment below and tell me what you'd add to my list, and remember to enjoy the little things in life. Sometimes that's the best part of the day, especially if antibiotics is on your list too. 


Wednesday, November 14, 2018

HEARTSTONE Author Releases New Dragon Book—DRAGONSHADOW—by ELLE KATHERINE WHITE

dragon book, dragon book author, Elle Katherine White


Elle Katharine White joins us in The Glitter Globe today to share exciting news. Her second book in the Heartstone series releases November 20th. (The first in the series, Heartstone, is a sort of Pride and Prejudice with dragons.) The story continues with the happy couple Aliza Bentaine and Alastair Daired, NOT Elizabeth Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy.




This is a story I've been looking forward to reading. I lucked in to an early version of the novel and the story just gets better. Elle writes adventure and dragons so you won't soon forget them. If you haven't yet had the opportunity to read Elle, you're in for a treat!




Elle, thanks to some insider information I happen to know that you really do martial arts and sword fighting. How has that helped your writing?

I do! I've been studying Japanese swordsmanship (swordswomanship?) for about a year. And boy oh boy, it's been quite the adventure. Before this I never fully appreciated how many muscles are in the arm, or how they work together, or all the hundred little ways they can hurt. Training with the sword has given me a new understanding of human kinetics and the kind of effort it takes to achieve any level of competence with a weapon. (Spoiler: It's a lot. The answer is a lot.) 

So those heroes who pick up that legendary sword and master a martial art in one long weekend? That's not how it works. Natural talent is great, but it's no replacement for hard work, discipline, and practice. I wrote a scene in Dragonshadow in which one character, who has very little experience with weapons, receives a brief training session from her husband, who's been studying swordplay his whole life. And she's terrible. Really, truly, hilariously bad. It was so much fun turning that trope on its head. 



It's been a whirlwind year since your first book released. What is the most exciting thing that has happened to you since the release of your first novel?

Two things: Realizing that Alastair and Aliza's story wasn't going to end with Heartstone, and overcoming the most painful spell of writer's block I've ever had. Pride and Prejudice is one of my favorite stories of all time, and I loved re-imagining it in a fantasy world. Once that world was established, though, I wanted to explore more of it, and the structure I'd set for the retelling wouldn't let me do that. Dragonshadow and its sequel allowed me to branch out, and that was so much fun.

Fun—until writer's block struck. For ten solid months I couldn't write a thing. It was painful. Paralyzing. Scary. And it didn't end in a day. Writing, just like swordsmanship, is both an art and a craft, and like any craft you have to practice it. Falling out of the habit means a lot of hard work and discipline to get back into it. I'm still not totally free of writer's block, but I was able to finish the third book in the Heartstone saga in spite of it, and that felt incredible.



What does a writing day look like for you?

Willingly or unwillingly, my day usually starts around 4:45am with a trip to the gym, where the plot bunnies and character rabbits and other literary woodland creatures start running sleepy circles inside my head. Then it's breakfast, an hour or so of writing (or sometimes staring blankly at the screen in despair) until I have to go to work. After work I try to snatch another hour or two of writing before passing out. A 500+ word day is a good day. 

Your bio mentions your yearning to travel the world. What are your top three picks, and why?

Goodness gracious, where to begin? First: Kyoto, Japan, and for so many reasons. The cuisine, the culture, the language, the scenery, everything. Second: Zermatt, Switzerland. I'd like to see the sunset on the Matterhorn sometime before I die. Third: The Outer Hebrides, UK. Something about the wildness, the coldness, the sheer inhospitableness of it . . . I don't know why, but that draws me.

If you had to pick somewhere on earth where this dragon world might fit, where would it be?

Hm. Since Heartstone was based on Pride and Prejudice, I built my maps of Arle with Great Britain in mind. I'd have to go with that. A storm-tossed island in the middle of the North Atlantic.

You're a tea drinker. What kind and is it going to be loose leaf or in a bag? And what kind of teacup or mug would we see sitting on your desk?

I drink absurd amounts of tea, it's true. Lapsang souchong is my favorite, and you've got to brew that loose leaf. One of my favorite mugs is large, earthenware, and has a rather splendid dragon sprawled across the side. It's the perfect writing companion.

Is there anything else you'd like to tell us about Dragonshadow?

Dragonshadow picks up where the first book left off, but for those of you expecting another Jane Austen retelling, beware! You're in for a wholly original tale. It's darker, grittier, the stakes are higher, and as Aliza soon discovers, the road to happily ever after is longer and more dangerous than she could possibly imagine.

Thanks for having me on The Glitter Globe!



DRAGONSHADOW 


Elle K. White, White, Dragon books


The Greater Lindworm is dead, its monstrous armies have
fled, and the Battle of North Fields is over—or at least that’s what Aliza Bentaine, now a Daired, fervently wants to believe.

With memories of the blood-soaked battleground behind them, she and Alastair are happy to escape the aftermath within the walls of the Daired family fortress, safe from the Tekari bent on destroying them. There, gods willing, they can begin to enjoy their well earned happily ever after.

Unfortunately, the gods have other plans. Rumors are spreading of a new monster creeping across Arle, something leaving the mutilated bodies of both humans and Oldkind creatures in its wake. When the plea for aid arrives from the remote Castle Selwyn on the northern border of the kingdom, Alastair and his dragon Akarra prepare once more for the hunt.

And if Aliza has anything to say about it, they won’t be hunting alone.

Torn between the world she was born to and the high calling of the Riders, Aliza nevertheless refuses to stay at House Pendragon, determined to do her part to protect those she loves. But their journey through the Old Wilds proves more perilous than she can imagine, for she is not the only one following her husband north. Shadowing the Daireds is an ancient evil, a harbinger of a threat of which the Worm was only a foretaste, and all too soon Aliza realizes the terrible truth. The Battle of North Fields may be over, but the real war is just beginning. 



Elle Katherine White

Dragon book, White, Dragonshadow, Dragon, Shadow

A textbook introvert who likes to throw out the textbook every once in a while just to see what happens. Elle grew up in Buffalo, NY, where she learned valuable life skills like how to clear a snowy driveway in under twenty minutes and how to cheer for the perennial underdog. When she’s not writing, she spends her time drinking tea, loitering in libraries and secondhand bookshops, and dreaming of world travel.





















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Thursday, October 18, 2018

Holding onto my Vacation Joy in the Real World


Alonissos, Home, Reality, Kindness, Happiness
S.R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe




HOME SWEET HOME 

That should read Home Sweet Chaos. You know what it's like to leave your real life to travel a few months out of the year? It's like you're now hopelessly behind in everything. 

You will never catch up. Not unless reincarnation is a thing. Accept that you need to downsize your life in order to travel. Take a deep breath. Dig up some patience that connecting flights and the TSA hasn't already stolen from you. There you go. Now start going through everything and getting rid of all the stuff you don't need and while you're at it clean off and organize your computers too.

Have some nice family gatherings and take the time to cook real food at least once a year. Also, order a magic wand off Amazon. Check reviews because you're gonna need a real one this time.


GREECE HIGHLIGHTS AND LOW-LIGHTS

Highlights. A monk seal on the public beach. Why is seeing a wild animal up close and personal out in the world so amazing? Maybe it's because their eyes are not sad and they look right into yours. A night swim under the dark moon. The Aegean was so cold I froze. The locals ran into the sea and immediately back out. It was perfection just the same. Nights I sat on my balcony and wrote by candlelight. My nose nearly touched the page I leaned so close to see my scribbled words. But I loved sitting there in the warm night breeze and listening to the sounds in the port.

Even low-lights were highlights. While taking a meandering walk in Skiathos I wound up at the edge of an airport runway when a jet was taking off. I learned all about jet blasts. I'm happy to report I didn't die. I'm sure it will be useful in a novel someday. AGAIN getting tagged by the TSA as a person of interest. Now I know what it feels like to be profiled, AGAIN. Searched. Slowed-down. Felt-up. It's annoying, but once more it's good novel fodder. Let's pretend I mean that last bit. 



GLUTEN-FREE

Sofitel Hotel Restaurants make their own freshly baked gluten-free bread. In a month of traveling I only stayed at one. I easily ate my month's allotment of bread there. It was so good.

Eating gluten-free is a pain. It turns you into a difficult customer as soon as you walk into a restaurant. 

I'm pretty sure I've heard the wait-staff's eyes rolling when I say I have to eat gluten-free. I sympathize. But since they're not the ones who have to pee blood if I get gluten, I'm wildly and annoyingly cautious.

Eating out isn't appealing to me anymore. In Greece I cooked my own meals as much as possible. I even skipped my free breakfasts most of the time. Mostly I ate salad without dressing, yogurt, fresh fruit, or vegetables and grilled fish. Also gelato, because balance. 

If you contact airlines ahead of time they offer gluten-free meals via their websites. Trying to find a simple banana between planes became a quest. Rome's Fiumicino Airport is one of those airports crossed with a high-end mega-mall. Who the hell decided to splice the stress of airport travel with the labyrinth torment of a galleria? Ugh.

I never did find any fresh fruit but I only had FOUR HOURS to look. They definitely didn't have any in the Gucci, Prada, or Billionaire stores. Nor in the gluten-packed pasta shops. Can you hear the creak of my eyeballs rolling? To be fair I did purchase an excellent Leonardo da Vinci Vitruvian Man notebook there and a seven euro bottle of what I think was water. It tasted a lot like it, so there's that. 


BOOKS I READ

Am writing, books to read, karfelt

At the last minute I had to toss my hardcover copy of The Book of Joy by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu out of my suitcase. I should have also tossed out my laptop because not only did I not use it in Greece, but it almost cost me all of my toes as I dragged two roller-bags onto a wildly rocking ferry. 

books, books to read, writing, reviews, recommendations
Instead I read The Alice Network by Kate Quinn. Thanks to a kind stranger I even had all my toes intact while I did it. At the advice of my editor I'd put it on my kindle app, and I read it in stolen moments here and there. Mostly while eating breakfast yogurt and drinking Greek Mountain Tea. It's about female spies in WWI and WWII, but it's also about not fitting in and being yourself. I'd rate it four stars and recommend it. It's a good read. 

Books to read, Books, Reviews, Blog

A friend on Alonissos loaned me a copy of Neil Gaiman's The Ocean at the End of the Lane, and I finally at long last became a Gaiman fan. It's about a man revisiting his family home while on his way to a funeral and discovering long-forgotten secrets and well-hidden memories. For me this book held the kind of magic I found years ago in Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle in Time and Many Waters. I loved it. If you've ever enjoyed any Fantasy book, read it.
book reviews, the glitter globe, reading, writing
On my flight home I couldn't settle on a single movie and shelled out for in-flight WiFi, but even that didn't do it. So I looked through my Kindle App books and ignoring all my high-brow selections like Dostoyevsky and Tolstoy I went with a little Urban Fantasy book called Protecting His Witch by Zoe Forward. I can be a real snoot about editing and was in a persnickety and tired traveler mood and nearly shut it down early on, but then the story grabbed me. It's about a veterinarian dimension-hopping witch who turns out to be one of the seven Pleiades and her hot druid-sentry born to tend to her needs. I kinda need one of those myself. If he knows Excel and can also sort my Outlook email mess that is. I liked it.


WRITERLY STATUS

Back to reality. I'm writing my vampire book and talking to a story
editor. I'm also in need of a Personal Assistant a few hours a week and think I may have found someone. The help would be welcome. Writing is my dream job, but it is a lot of work, especially with research and traveling.

My attic is mostly cleaned up. The mice who have secretly been living there have been evicted. I've sorted through decades of stuff and sworn off buying things. It was a tough job for me. Giving away so many books felt like saying goodbye to old friends. Cleaning out stuff from when my kids were little or papers I wrote ages ago hurt. But I did it. I lost at least a dump-truck sized pile of excess. I feel lighter already. Hanging onto your happiness takes real work, have you noticed that? It's so worth it. 




















Monday, October 8, 2018

Greece to Egypt and Back—Traveling Safely and Staying Alive in this Great Big Beautiful World


Karfelt, Egypt, Greece, Alonissos, Writer's life, safe, travel-safety
S.R. Karfelt/The Glitter Globe


"I'd like to visit America," said my driver, the guy the restaurant employs to run customers—free of charge—from the popular port area of Skiathos, up to the restaurant with a stunning view of the sea (Olive Thea), "but it's too dangerous."

"No, it's not," I said.

"Yes," he said, "it is."

My European friends in the backseat are cracking up. 

It's not the first time I've heard this. In fact it's the most common refrain I've gotten from people when they realize I'm American.

"America's not safe," said the young Englishman with alcohol-glazed eyes, so intoxicated he can barely stand. So intoxicated he's stumbled out of a pub near the London Eye to join the crowd of evacuated hotel guests at 3:00 a.m. The fire alarm had gone off because someone lit a cigarette in an adjoining hotel. "I'd go there, but I don't want to get shot."

"We love Americans," said a souvenir vendor at the pyramids in Egypt. "Tell your friends to come here. It's safe here, no one shoots you like in America."

"Tell me," said a Greek taxi driver, "Does America want to take over the world? Do they want to shoot everyone?"



It's ironic, isn't it? Because the first thing people in America say to me when they hear about my travels is, "Is it safe?"

While I was in Egypt this past March I read Rick Steve's book Travel as a Political Act. It's a fascinating and informative read. I loved the statistics, the cold hard facts about travel. How twelve million people a year go to Europe. How we're twice as likely to be killed by a toddler playing with a gun than by a terrorist when traveling.

It shocked me that a 747's worth of people die on American highways each WEEK. 33,000 die on our roads each year. Reducing highway speed by 20 MPH would save thousands of lives, but are we willing to do that? You know we aren't. We take our chances.

Then why are so many of us who wish to visit places we've dreamed of not doing it?


It's because we're afraid. The question is are our fears legitimate? I don't think they are.

What has happened to us? Are we mixing up movies with reality? Do we hear the same horrifying news story again and again, embellishing it with each retelling? Do we stop and think how each and every horrid story we hear hashed and rehashed over and over on the news really only happened once. 

Terrible things happen everywhere. Do you really want to hunker down and live safe and sound and terrified all of your days?


Egypt is the first place I've visited that's very different than where I come from. I loved it. I loved the people. I loved the slower pace. I loved the pyramids and tombs and food. But was I afraid?

Admittedly there were times I was nervous. The first week I had culture shock. The traffic, especially in Cairo, scared the hell out of me. (But so did Boston when I lived there.) 

I'd never been in a predominantly Muslim country before. There I was in cargo trousers and my Agatha Christie linen shirt with all my blond hair riding a camel. Several times a day Adhan sounded the Muslim call to prayer. Do you know how many people harassed me for not being Muslim? None. Nobody cared. I can't wait to go back!

A friend I hung around with during some of my time in Egypt likes to announce she's Jewish. She travels often and likes to see how people react. The majority of her family died in the holocaust. Even though she's a secular person she makes a point of sharing her heritage. In order, she says, to defy stereotypes. 

Not a single person cared who was Christian or Jew. 


In Egypt there's a greater police presence than I'm used to. I was often with a group of Egyptologists, some of who've been traveling there for well over thirty years. It's always like this, they told me. It's safe, they insisted. This is how they employ so many young men. 

After a few days I noticed the friendly smiles of those police and of people greeting me on the streets. I felt the Adhan deep in my bones. It reminds me of the chants I've heard in so many monasteries. Kids and adults hurried to greet me in English. "Hello, beautiful." "Welcome to Egypt." "Welcome, this is your home now." 

But was I afraid? No. Sometimes I was nervous. 


What woman doesn't know that feeling? It's been years since I've been approached by young men on the street. Especially men young enough to be my son. "You look worried," said one who would not go. "Don't be worried."

"Where I come from," I said, "Strange men don't approach women they don't know on the street for any good reason."

"Where I come from," he said, "Women don't walk alone on the street. I'm offering to be your escort so you don't have to walk alone."

The reply startled me, but of course it's the truth. Although I saw plenty of young women walking alone. Most had their hair covered. That's simply how women dress there. Some wore the exact same types of clothes young women wear in the west. Some wore burkas. 

But the fact is I was the stranger who didn't know or follow the rules. I still felt as safe, if not safer, than I feel when traipsing the streets of large cities in America. Maybe it's due to the police presence or maybe it's due to the always polite populace, but I didn't worry about being robbed or pick-pocketed as much. 

In Greece I'm more comfortable traveling solo than I am in the United States.


Not that I'm afraid here, just smartly cautious especially in cities. Greece feels like home to me. Especially in the smaller islands where everyone seems to know everyone else. 

That driver who told me of the dangers of America also teased me for not being Greek, while kindly helping me with my limited and sad attempts at speaking his language. 

"Do not take this wrong," he said, "I do not mean to be rude, but I can tell by the way you sit in that seat that you are a closed and cold-hearted person. You are dead inside."

By now my European friends in the backseat are really enjoying this.

"We Greeks," he said, "We do not talk just with the words. We speak with our hands, with our bodies, with all of us! You come here, every year, and you go to that little boring island where nothing ever happens. Why you go there?"

"Well. It's the perfect place to go when you're dead inside," I said.

"Oh! OH! You cut me! You cut me!" He's using his hands and entire body to show me just how deeply. But we're both laughing and this is the kind of communication I strive for when I travel. I will remind him next year that I'm the cold-hearted writer again. 

S.R. Karfelt
Maybe by then my Greek will be good enough to tell him I've written an entire series of books about heart, or maybe, just maybe I'll keep it all at the bitch witch level. I mean that book did come straight from my cold heart too.

When I travel I find it's important to carry my inner Kahtar warrior, my open-hearted Covenant Keeper, and always, always, Sarah Archer—that witch genetically predisposed to manipulate dark matter in her favor. Above all, I take my pragmatic writer self and remember every day is a story and life isn't about being safe. Life is about living, or did I miss another memo?